


Bad Romance

by Rubien



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BDSM, Blood and Violence, Canonical Child Abuse, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Force Choking, Inappropriate Use of the Force, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Past Thought of Rape, Power Imbalance, Starvation, Under-negotiated Kink, Unhealthy Behavior, Verbal Humiliation, Violence, in the begging, in the beginning as well, mind-reading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-04 09:37:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13361805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubien/pseuds/Rubien
Summary: It’s the end. The last battle is lost. The First Order is in ruins, the little that’s left of it is on escape pods, and Finalizer is being destroyed.And yet, Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux live another day to tell the story of what happened after the end.





	1. Of Loss

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to dedicate this fanfic to my good friends Mary and Archongod who were so kind to beta this shit for me.  
> Anyway, I hope you will enjoy it. Feel free to leave behind a comment and kudos ;)

When Kylo wakes up again, he feels the ship around him crumbling. It’s like a cruel, deadly song that takes roots in everyone who is on board and is still not dead, spreading the hopelessness through their bodies from those roots. Kylo feels sharp pain in his side, and he remembers the lightsaber that went through it just few moments ago.

His whole body is on fire and his hair are wet with cold sweat. He is filled with rage and desire for vengeance. A small part of him is also sad that Rey has left him there just to die. Because even though his mind is blurry and he can’t remember the fight, it had to be her. Nobody else could ever defeat him.

He gets up on his feet, the pain still remaining. The lights in the hallway he is from are all red, there’s fire and nobody is around. The area is filled with the sound of alert that’s advising everyone to search the escape pods.

Kylo can feel in the Force. The First Order is losing. He can feel the lives of thousands vanishing. He can feel the happiness and joy of the Resistance. He can feel the terror of the what’s left of the First Order. He can feel-

Kylo stops in the middle of his tracks, and he hasn’t even realized when he was starting to walk towards the escape pods when he feels Hux.

The general is still on the bridge, giving fierce commands to the ruins of his soldiers. He isn’t leaving them. Of course, he isn’t. Hux believes his men are the best. He lives on a code of his own. He doesn’t get his hands dirty. But he would never leave his soldiers like this. They are __his__ , after all.

He changes his direction and runs to the bridge. The wound burns in his side and he uses the pain and hurt for his advantage. He lets it fuel him on his way to the bridge.

By the time he reaches it, there is nobody left but Hux there. Kylo can feel the emotions soaking through him even without trying to read his mind. Disbelieve, hate, shock and mostly horror from the general.

“Why are you still here?!” Kylo yelled in annoyance.

Hux freezes, he didn’t expect anyone to be there anymore let alone Kylo Ren himself, he looks behind his shoulder. Hux’s hair are no longer clean and smooth with gel, they are messy around his pale face that hasn’t been shaved in at least two days since the battle began.

“I need to stay here until my troops get to safety,” Hux’s voice doesn’t let any of his emotions through - it’s cold and almost judgmental. It only makes Kylo more angry.

He uses force and a shocked gasp escapes Hux’s lips and he’s being pulled towards the other man.

“The Finalizer is lost!” Kylo growls and grabs Hux’s elbow hard enough to create a bruise. On purpose, he didn’t say the First Order is lost.

Hux’s eyes are wide in his pale face, his lips are in a thin line. Other than that there’s nothing that would give away his emotion. Nothing but cold composure.

Kylo usually doesn’t bother with going inside Hux’s head because it’s the mirror image of his exterior - it’s cold place full of rules and self-control.

“I need to stay here until my troops get to safety!” Hux yelled back and tried to yank his arm free. He hisses when Kylo doesn’t let go and causes even more bruises.

And Kylo finally realizes when he looks Hux in the eyes that there is something more behind it. Yes, Hux cares for his troops, they are important for him and he acknowledges his responsibility but the fear is not only from death. It’s clear that the Resistance will get at least part of the escape pods. Hux is scared that they could catch him. He knows what kind of man the Resistance  think he is and he is terrified of what they would done to the horrible, evil general of the First Order.

Suddenly, there’s a crack inside Hux’s head and Kylo is overwhelmed with a memory that’s not his. He’s small, smaller than the man that’s sitting in the black chair in front of him, he’s bleeding from his mouth and several teeth are missing as well as the nails from his hands. More cuts is all over the man’s naked body. He notices the tears that are melding with the blood. Kylo’s own hands are shaking, and there’s a frog in his throat.

__This is what happens to the enemies who are weak and stupid enough to get caught, son._ _

“Get out of my head!” Hux pushes him with his free hand. The shove actually hurts and Kylo realizes that Hux is more scared of being tortured than dying.

Before Kylo has a chance to react though, the whole ship moves and there is loud cracking in the air as it was hit again. Both, Kylo and Hux lose their footing. Hux’s body collides into Kylo and then, they are both falling to the ground.

Or at least he thought Kylo thought they are until he notices that they are just flying through the air. The artificial gravity generator was hit. While Kylo uses the Force to stabilize himself and makes himself stay where he is, the inertia pushes Hux to one of the control panels and he hits it with a painful grunt.

Kylo feels almost satisfied when he hears the sound but if the gravity generator has been destroyed, they don’t have much time left. He takes a look on the screens to see where the damage is most critical. The escape pods are on several places of the ships but most of them already left the ship or have been damaged. There’s only few places left.

“Ren, this is-” Hux’s angry voice is irritating, and it makes Kylo want to push him against the control panels harder but they don’t have much time. So, instead he uses the Force to bring him back to Kylo. The yelp Hux makes is at least a bit satisfying.

He scowls at Kylo angrily but the taller man ignores it.

“We need to go,” he takes him by his elbow again and drags Hux behind him as he, using the Force, walks away from the bridge.

This time, Hux doesn’t fight it and just lets Kylo get them out of there. It’s stupid and pathetic really, and even though it shouldn’t matter since the remains of the First Order are in ruins, Kylo hopes nobody sees them. He looks like a boy with a balloon as he drags Hux through the air. And he knows Hux feels just as stupid as he does.

But Kylo doesn’t know what else might happen and he doesn’t want to waste his power just so Hux can walk normally. They run across few bodies of unconscious troopers but they ignore them. Kylo makes his way quickly and dedicated.

It seems the Resistance stopped firing because while the ship is still shaking, no new hits are coming.

And sure enough, they soon run across of group of the Resistance  who are boarding the ship. They are guarding the escape pods in the small hangar like scavengers, waiting for the last victims of the conflict to come and kill them before they can escape.

Kylo let’s go of Hux and watches the enemies. By the look of it, their suits are made to be walking in places with low gravity since their feet are solidly on the ground however that also has to be the reason they are as slow as they are. When they turn around to face Kylo and Hux, the movement of their feet is slow and awakward.

By this disadvantage, they are even less of a threat than they would normally be. Kylo finds it amusing; at least something good about this day. He enjoys the slow walk towards them, how there is a spark of recognition in their eyes when he lights up his lightsaber, but what brings him the most satisfaction is, how their eyes dimmed upon realizing that they are going to die. He moves slowly, easily even as they keep firing and he dismisses their attack with just a little swing of his lightsaber.

They fall before him one by another.

When their dead bodies float around his head, he feels powerful, he puts at least some of the feeling into accessing the Force and channels it into his wound. He doesn’t heal it fully just enough that it’s no longer life-threatening.

When he turns around to the place next to the door where he had left Hux, he laughs at the man. The ginger general is pathetically holding one of the pipes so he doesn’t float away.

When he does laugh, Hux face turns even paler with the rage that boils within him. Rage is good, Kylo decides. Rage is better than fear.

Still high on Force from killing those man, he doesn’t bother with going for Hux himself and uses the Force again. It only angers the general more.

“I’m not some doll that you can move around just as you wi-”

Kylo’s amusements is gone the second Hux opens his mouth. He grabs him by his throat and squeezes warning, so the redhead shuts up, then throws him into one of the pods. Hux hits the wall and grunts in pain and his hair gets even messier. Kylo climbs into the pod as well and closes it behind them.

He sits next to the control panel and starts to prepare the pod for flight while fastening the seat belts. Hux is smart enough to get into the seat across Kylo and does the same, not stopping to glare on Kylo.

Kylo gets them moving, away from the ship and then... there’s only silence. The cracking of fire, the sound of the sirens is gone as well as breaking of the ship. All there is is silence. Kylo and Hux exchange looks and that’s when Kylo realizes he looks probably as bad as Hux. Unshaven, messy and stinks of sweat.

They stare at each other Hux looks away, outside the window. Kylo does the same and sees the escape pods being chased. They were all heading down to the closest planet. He closed his eyes and channeled the Force into hiding their escape pod from the sensors and radars.

He almost got disrupted when he heard Hux moving around and handling the control panel. Kylo opened his eyes but managed to focus on their cover as well.

Hux was determinedly searching for something on the screen, his slim fingers on the control panel with speed and efficiency.

“What are you doing?” Kylo asks.

“We can’t go to that planet,” Hux points out of the window. “You can see everyone going there. It’s the first place they will look for us in. We should head for that planet.”

Hux points to the second nearest planet. Kylo considers it and then looks on the fuel indicator. It doesn’t look good. When he voices his concerns, Hux watches him.

“I think we have more of a chance if we go there anyway,” Hux says. “The atmosphere is suitable for living, the fuel we have should be enough and if it isn’t you could use the Force to smooth our landing.”

Kylo scowls, the image of them falling down the atmosphere is unsettling. He is still high on the emotions of killing those men but he still feels tired and even if he doesn’t remember the fight with Rey, he knows he had to channel a lot of Force in the fight.

“Or are you too weak?” Hux adds. There is a smirk on his face that irritates Kylo and makes him want to get up on his feet and squeeze his throat again. And he knows it’s a stupid taunt, he knows he shouldn’t give in because that’s what Hux really wants, the manipulative bastard.

He uses the Force to choke him anyway, pleased when despite the taunting, Hux actually looks shocked. It’s somewhat thrilling to see him gasping for breath in desperation.

Kylo stops after just few seconds, and the rage is leaking through Hux’s eyes. Kylo smirks but tells him anyway: “Let’s go that the one you want, then.”

They are both silent and Kylo fully closes his eyes to fully focus on the Force. He mostly wants to know if there is anyone noticing that little pod that decided to go to a different planet than the others. But nobody is on them, for now at least.

The pod is still slow and the way down there is long. They are both tired, they are both hurt.

When Kylo realizes this, he focuses more on Hux. In his face, he looks like usual expect for the beard and the messy hair. His expression is calm and even but there is something off. Kylo notices the slight frown between Hux’s eyebrows and then he realizes the other man is in pain.

He scans his whole body, feels the Force from him and finds disturbance in the general’s ankle. He remembers the moment when Hux was flying across the room after they lost the gravity and how he hit the control panel. It’s sprained, severely, the angle not at all natural.

Kylo finds it amusing but only for a moment. Then, the upsetting reality comes to him. It’s just him and Hux here on this small, escape pod. Nobody else, just the two of them. In the back of his mind, a small voice says __as always__  as if that is the truth.

He remembers being side by side in front of the giant Snoke, he remembers when they were attacking the Resistance  on Crait.

Kylo almost snorted. As if he Hux had ever truly been with him. Yet, here they both are. In the escape pod. The injury could complicate things. According to scans, the planet they are heading for is mostly desert with only little of humanoid population. The injury could slow them down.

The only rational option is to continue his journey alone. He couldn’t let Hux drag him down.

Hux watches him with careful eyes. Not for the first time, he reminds Kylo of a fox, sly and smart and ready to take an opportunity and jump for it. And it had nothing to do with the man’s ginger hair.

Okay, maybe it did.

“You’re injured,” Hux states, not a question.

Kylo doesn’t bother covering the wound, it would be like acknowledging a weakness.

“So, are you,” Kylo retorts, he points on the Hux’s ankle. “And I already healed most of my injury. It will not hold me back.” he puts pressure on the words so Hux knows what he thinks about the general and his own injury.

Hux’s lips twist into a thin line. He doesn’t say anything about his sprained ankle but now that Kylo knows about it, he can’t stop focus on it. The swelling is already getting bad, he can sense Hux’s discomfort as the boot is too tight around it. It hurts even more.

Kylo smirks and they keep quiet. They are not attacked but Kylo can feel how, after about an hour after their departure, the Resistance destroys Hux’s ship. The destruction takes many lives, of the people who were left behind there or just couldn’t find an escape pod. He can sense the joy of the Resistance as they watch the explosion. Kylo clenches his hands into fists. He will make them pay.

“Ren!” Hux yells, pulling the other man out of his thoughts. He is grabbing the seat belts, his knuckles as white as his face and Kylo realizes that the whole escape pod is shaking from his power.

He forces himself to stop it. Now is not the time to be manipulating the Force, even though Kylo feels the need to do. It’s like an itch but he can’t give in. He gulps as he realizes that it would probably be for the best to just hide his whole presence within the Force. Rey may know that he was alive on the ship where she had left him but she won’t know for sure that he survived the blast.

Kylo never really bothered with hiding himself - he is proud of what he is, he is proud of his power that can be sensed in the air even by people who had little to no connection to the Force (like Hux). But Snoke taught him how to do it and when Kylo tried it it was one of those things he excelled in.

Hux, despite being one of those who almost can’t sense the Force, shivers when Kylo is done with hiding his presence.

“What was that?” he asks, suspicion clear in his voice.

“Nothing of your concern.”

That’s kind of a lie but Hux doesn’t keep on asking. He knows better than that.

The silence settles between them again for a long time. Kylo has a reason for being quiet but Hux deliberately keeps his mouth shut. When Kylo is sure he won’t lose control, he lets himself look at the other man. The redhead is watching the planet they are approaching.

The fuel of the pod is at its very bottom. Kylo becomes irritated. Not only he will have to focus on hiding his own presence hidden, he will have to lead the pod safely on the ground.

Hux knows it too, given the important look he gives Kylo. It’s almost funny how over the course of just few months during which they were leading the First Order together, they came to... not quite understanding but they were more perceptive of each other.

The moment the pod enters the atmosphere of the planet, it starts to shake violently. Hux grabs his seat belt again as if that would help him stabilize himself. Kylo focuses to keep the pod from burning from the friction in the atmosphere and tries to slow down the pod as much as he can.

The way down there, now that the gravity has the pod in its iron grasp, still feels too slow and Kylo feels his energy leaving him in waves. By the time they are close enough to the ground, there’s cold sweat on Kylo’s forehead and he is clenching his fists again.

The landing is still rough and Kylo hears Hux hiss in pain and his feet hit the floor. He would have smirked at him if he wasn’t so tired and if his head didn’t hit the wall as well.

For a few seconds after the pod stops moving, neither of them moves. They are first staring out of the window on the desert that is similar to the one on Jakku, then they look at each other and Kylo notices there’s sweat also on Hux’s forehead and even though Kylo didn’t think it possible, he looks even paler than before.

But their feet are on the ground. They can feel the pull of the gravity and there is no sound of interceptors above them, only the sound of the wind and sand.

They made it.


	2. Of Thirst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind that I changed the tags just to be safe. As I tried to write the chapters in advance and I don't like reading my own fanfics, I'm not sure when the tags will apply but please read with caution :)  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please do leave a comment and kudos! They mean a lot to me!

Kylo is the first one to move. He unfastens the seat belts and rises to his feet before Hux recovers enough to move.

The door of the pod are blocked, probably damaged during their landing, and Kylo has to use the Force to throw the door open. The heat of the desert hits him straight into his face. It’s unpleasant and his airways are filled with unpleasantly warm air that sharply contrasts to the coldness from the pod from their journey in the space.

He climbs down and takes a look around. He sees nothing except for the tall dunes of the sand. There is not a single cloud in the sky and Kylo doesn’t feel any living creature anywhere near.

He scowls. The odds are not looking great for them. No animal they could eat, the sun burns hotly on his hair and he is sure the water is hard to come by in a place like this. He wishes he would have time to meditate because at this moment, anything living is so far away he can’t even feel it right now.

A grunt of pain from behind him pulls him away from his thoughts and he looks over his shoulder to see Hux getting out of the pod. It almost makes him smirk. The general’s hair is messy, and he grimaces on the sight of the desert and the hot sun. He doesn’t put his weight on his left ankle.

Kylo’s look darkens. The injury is going to slow them down, and the Knight already feels tired from channeling the Force as it is. He doesn’t want to use more of it when he doesn’t have to. He thinks about leaving him behind to die here.

But he can’t. The troops respect and love their general Hux and if Kylo is to pick up the pieces left of the First Order and build a new Empire again, he will need him. Not to mention Hux is actually a brilliant strategist, and Kylo knows he probably couldn’t lead the First Order in the manner he did. Not that Kylo is ever going to tell him. He needs him.

And it has nothing to do with the fact that the thought walking through the desert is… not pleasant.

Kylo puts the cape over his head to protect at least somehow his head and then goes back to the pod. Hux is stubborn, almost as stubborn as Kylo himself, and decides to climb the ladder from the pod on his own despite his ankle. Kylo can almost hear the grinding of his teeth from the pain as he puts the weight on his feet.

The Knight doesn’t bother helping him. A part of him enjoys the way it seems Hux wants to cripple himself.

He waits for the other man when Hux is standing on the ground, he orders: “Take off your shoe.”

Hux gives him suspicious glance. “Why?”

“In this state, you are just going to hold me back,” Kylo says bluntly.

Hux’s eyebrows twitches and his jaw clenches. “I don’t need your help,” he lies.

Kylo frowns in irritation. This is just keeping them from more important things, like getting out of the landing site. For a moment though, he considers just letting the other man do as he wishes. It would be funny to watch him limp through the desert. Kylo bets Hux would manage to be stubborn for a few days before the exhaustion and pain would be too much, and the idea of the redhead general begging him to heal his wound is exciting. But limping would lose them time they don’t have.

“Take. Your. Shoe. Off.” Kylo growls dangerously, stepping closer to Hux and entering his personal space.

Hux now looks even more irritated and gives the taller man hateful glare but he obeys. He leans against the ladder for support and then bends over to take off the boot. He looks awkward doing it and Kylo smiles in mischief when Hux fights for balance. The boot doesn’t come off as easily as Hux thought, the ankle is already badly swollen, and Kylo watches for several minutes the general in pain before he interferes.

Hux gets even angrier at this help from Kylo but he keeps his mouth shut because he knows he probably won’t get the boot off alone. He tries to cough to hide the hiss of pain as Kylo manages to take the shoe off but the Knight looks up and gives him knowing look.

Kylo puts the boot on the ground and takes Hux’s feet into his hands. The swell is indeed bad and Kylo can already see that the damage is severe. He is going to have to pop the bone back into the joint before he can continue with more healing.

He looks up at Hux who is still grimacing angrily. “Are you ready?” he asks simply because the other man must know the extension of his injury and in the moment the question leaves his lips he feels stupid. The question wasn’t necessary, he should have just pop he bone back to its place.

Hux seems to be as surprised by this question as he is but thankfully doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he presses his lips into a thin line and gives him a short nod.

Kylo doesn’t waste any time and pops it back. He didn’t know if Hux expected this but surprisingly nothing but a small whisper of pain escapes his lips and hearing that sound sends shivers down Kylo’s spine but they are not unpleasant, on the contrary. He watches Hux’s face. The other man returns the look and scowls.

“What?” he asks, not able to hide his labored breathing.

Kylo doesn’t say anything, just looks away and concentrate on healing Hux’s ankle. He feels the severed flesh mend back together and hears Hux take in sharp inhale of breath. It’s a hurtful process. When he’s done he rises to his full height and simply tells Hux: “We need to go.”

The general doesn’t reply, just reaches for his boot and puts it back on.

Kylo climbs back into the pod. There are always small supply of food and water. Nothing to last for long, especially in this desert, but it’s something and Kylo takes everything he can. He puts the bag of all the things over his shoulder before leaving the pod.

Hux is still waiting under the ladder, watching him with careful eyes. Neither of them says anything and Kylo stands still for a minute, reaching into the Force around him, deep enough until he feels the presence of life in a city that’s too far away from where they are but it’s the closest settlement from them. He steps in the direction of the city and feels Hux follow him. 

* * *

 

Hux manages to surprise Kylo. When he thinks about it in retrospective, it shouldn’t be surprising that the redhead man is not a whinny person but Kylo knows his hands are soft from working behind a desk rather than in direct combat. He knows Hux tries to avoid fighting himself when he can. That’s why it’s so surprising that Hux doesn’t complain the first day of their way to the civilization.

He doesn’t complain about the pain in his ankle, doesn’t complain about  his growling stomach (because Kylo bets the idiot wasn’t eating even back on their ship) and doesn’t complain about the thirst or the sun or the fact that Kylo hides his head under his cape while he has to take the sun burning on his head.

Hux doesn’t tell Kylo to stop even as they move through the night. The redhead was the one to suggest to travel during the day because they also needed sleep and they just couldn’t sleep during the day. And the coldness of the desert in the night sent chills through Kylo’s bones.

It’s in the middle of the night of this planet time when Kylo decides they are enough far away from the escape pod that they can rest. He puts the bag down and searches in it.

Hux doesn’t complain, on the contrary. He sits down on the ground and stares at him but for once, there is no hatred in his eyes. The redhead tries to hide it but there is a spark of expectation and crave for something. Kylo knows what it is.

He almost wants to pull just the sleeping tent out of the bag just so the general has to beg with actual words but then he decides he is too tired for that. He takes out a bottle of water and hands throws it to the other man.

Hux catches it without trouble, the eagerness for water more clear in his movements than in his expression. He opens it, licking his lips. It catches Kylo’s interests and he can’t stop watching the man as he gulps the water.

Despite being thirsty after not drinking anything the whole day, he drinks slowly. Kylo watches hit throat move. There’s still the control in Hux’s movements, in everything he does, and the Knight wonders for a second, what it would feel like to strip this man of his control, to crack it under his own hands. The second is short but long enough for Kylo to find himself wanting.

He is angry with himself for wanting that and quickly focuses on building the tent. It will not keep them as warm as he’d like it to but it will protect them from sand and worst of the wind.

While he is working, Hux finishes drinking but he has enough reason not to drink everything. Kylo has only two more bottles in his bag. It isn’t nearly enough, in fact, Kylo is sure they should drink more than just three bottles a day but he was going to take what they have.

When Hux finishes drinking, he joins Kylo in his attempts to build up a tent. Immediately, it’s clear that Hux is better at this than Kylo and though neither of them comments on it, Kylo slowly moves aside to let the redhead build it.

Kylo didn’t realize just how small the tent would be. It looks tiny for the two of them - both are tall and though Hux is much slimmer than Kylo is, he will still take up a lot of place.

The Knight feels Hux shiver from cold. They can’t put up a fire in case the Resistance  would be following them.

The silence between them is getting more and more tense with each passing second, even though neither of them really wants to talk to the other. They don’t even have anything to talk about.

Kylo doesn’t wait for Hux and gets into the tent. There, he finally puts down the cape and few layers of his clothes. The general gets in right behind him. It’s awkward, them trying to fit into this small tent without touching one another. More awkward is when Hux takes off his jacket, they both try not to look at each other.

Then, without asking, Hux reaches into Kylo’s bag and pulls out the sack with crackers. He watches Kylo carefully while doing so, as if he expects him to jerk the food out of his hands. When that doesn’t happen, Hux frowns.

“Are you not going to drink or eat?” It’s a question that could come out as concern but Hux makes it sound judgmental.

“No,” Kylo says as if it was the clearest thing in the world. “I don’t need it. The Force will provide.”

The corner of Hux’s mouth twitches in irritation. Kylo was never sure if the general’s distaste for the Force is because he is more or less mute towards it or is it because he doesn’t understand it. Now, that it probably doesn’t matter much, curiosity takes over Kylo and he lets his mind brush against Hux’s.

It was true, that Hux’s mind is a cold place but after the heat of the desert, the coldness was almost soothing despite the whole place now being so cold.

Unlike Hux, Kylo didn’t bother taking off his boots. He crosses his legs and straightens his back and takes a deep breath. Hux has enough sense not to disturb him. Instead, he puts his boots next to the tent entrance and then curls into a ball on the other side of the tent, making as much distance between them as possible, and puts a thin blanket from the bag over himself.

And for a while, Kylo manages to meditate effortlessly. He focuses on feeding on the Force and the thirst of his throat and the hunger of his stomach goes away eventually. He even feels rested.

Unfortunately, when the worst of it is gone, his mind manages to focus on other things. He feels how Hux’s body shivers because even under the blanket it’s freezing and his mind, not sleeping and thinking loudly but Kylo doesn’t want to know more.

But there is restlessness in it and disturbance of it is annoying.

Kylo tells himself that it’s for his own good to find out what’s keeping the redhead from sleeping because he can’t focus on his meditation, so he lets his mind brush against Hux’s again.

Or at least, he wanted just a little brush. He feels a crack in the wall of rules that’s surrounding Hux’s mind again. The crack is small but Kylo finds himself being pulled in just as easily as he did back on the ship.

His mind is immediately filled with thoughts that are not his. It’s like going into the depths Kylo has never had any desire to see. There was a reason why he didn’t bother with going through Hux’s mind. The man was annoying and that was all he needed to know.

Yet here he was, seeing a memory of Hux. Little boy, laying on the floor, naked with nothing except for a blanket that’s too thin to actually keep him warm. He’s hungry, thirsty and cold, but he still doesn’t want to leave. At least here, he’s alone. He fears of the moment he knows will eventually come, when the door will open and a harsh, deep voice will ask him. __Have you learned your lesson, boy?__

The memory triggers another, like a layer upon a layer. The boy is much smaller now. He’s laying on a bed and he’s still cold but there is also as a woman is wrapped around him protectively and she plays with his hair. It’s comforting, soft and loving embrace and so sweet it leaves behind very bitter taste.

Kylo can’t help but think of his own mother and the comfort she used to provide for Ben Solo. The warmth is similar as is the way she could always tell when Ben needed her.

The anger that spreads through him is like a cold shower.

“Get the fuck out of my head!” Hux yells and Kylo jerks from the meditation with shock. When he opens his eyes, Hux is already sitting watching him with hatred in his eyes and his lips are in thin line.

They stare at each other for several seconds, Kylo for once not knowing what to say before he finally finds his voice.

“Your thoughts were disturbing my meditation,” Kylo says in equally angry voice. He is __not__ embarrassed that he’s been caught messing in Hux’s head.

“Fuck your meditation, then!” Hux retorts. “I don’t want you in my head.”

“And I don’t want to be there,” Kylo retorts and too late realizes how childish that sounds. “But if you won’t shut your thoughts at least don’t complain about me having to see them.”

Hux’s lips twitches but he doesn’t comment on Kylo’s tone, instead he gives him a hard look that covers something deep inside his eyes that the Knight could probably identify if only he snooped inside Hux’s head again.

“Just stay out of my damn head,” Hux’s growls, and if the emotion didn’t reach his eyes, there was a hint of vulnerability and longing in his voice.

Hux realizes it too, because he frowns at Kylo as if it was the Knight’s fault that he revealed something he didn’t want to. He doesn’t speak again, instead curls into a ball again and rolls over so his back are facing Kylo.

Kylo gulps nervously. He tries to ignore the other man, even though Hux is clearly not falling asleep. Instead, his mind keeps buzzing Kylo every time he tries to enter meditation state again. He’s not hungry or thirsty anymore but he still needs to recover his energy. Which is proving to be difficult thanks to the other man.

He truly doesn’t know why it’s so difficult for Hux to fall asleep when he’s so tired.

In the end, Kylo just growls in irritation, which causes Hux to jerk, and then he grabs another blanket from the bag and lays down.

Their backs are facing to one another. They are both curled up under their blankets, cold and alone in the darkness of the desert, and neither of them gets much sleep. 

* * *

 

The following days change into a strange routine. In the morning, they pack up the tent into the bag that Kylo carries, and then they head to the city. The journey is tiring and Kylo knows it will take them at this pace around two weeks. While Kylo feeds every night on the Force, Hux isn’t.

The thought is creeping into Kylo’s mind every day more and more, and every time he pushes it away, it creeps back even stronger, like a whisper inside his head which he can’t silence, and the whisper has Snoke’s voice. Hux will die of dehydration. The water is not enough even though Hux tries to not to drink too much.

And each day, Kylo can see how the desert and its hostile conditions are taking its toll on the redhead. He gets thinner every day and Kylo can sense the pain inside his head. He will probably have sunstroke, if he doesn’t have it already. Yet, he never asks for break. He stubbornly goes on, and on. This stubbornness is probably what has gotten him so far.

During these days, Hux gets too tired and sleeps anyway. His dreams are filled with nightmares of Snoke, Brendol Hux and a woman crying while she pets his hair. Kylo learns to be able meditate through the nightmares, but he can still feel them, can tell when Hux wakes up with a sharp gasp.

When he feels the abuse inside Hux’s mind, it makes Kylo wonder if it was because of their situation that probably can’t be good for mental health - being on the run with someone they don’t like, completely alone.

The first night after they run out of water, Hux has a dream about Kylo being the one who chokes him. It’s unsettling, more so that Kylo feels a sting of guilt inside his guts for that. He hates himself for being so sentimental. As if Hux would ever feel guilty about all the stuff he threw under Kylo’s feet.

Yet, soon enough Kylo finds himself carefully, oh, so carefully, soothing the nightmare away with the Force. It’s foolish, using the Force just so Hux can sleep better but there is a warm feeling inside Kylo afterwards, when he hears nothing from Hux as the redhead sleeps soundly for the first time. Kylo tries to tell himself that the feeling is because he can now meditate in peace but he can’t convince himself.

It makes him feel like a failure again, he thought he abandoned these thoughts and feelings long time ago.

Hux doesn’t notice Kylo’s interception to his sleep because he doesn’t say anything the morning after and he looks better than the day before, not great but better.

He does it every night ever since then and since then, Hux gets woken up only by the coldness and Kylo.

But, completely different troubles start at that time. The water is gone along with food and if Kylo though Hux looked bad before, he looks horrible now. Just after one day without water, his already cracked lips are even more cracked now, dry from the heat, and even if Hux tries to keep up, Kylo has to slow down slightly.

It’s unnerving, that they need to get into the city as soon as possible, and at the same time, they need to slow down.

Hux’s sleeping gets worse. He has troubles falling asleep again, mostly because of the thirst and soreness inside his throat, and the pains of hunger although Kylo knows they will only get worse.

Kylo feels his headache getting worse as well, feels him getting weaker and weaker with each moment. And Kylo shouldn’t care but the idea of traveling the desert alone is far worse than idea of traveling side by side with Hux.

He tries to come up with something that could help Hux, knowing very well that wanting to help him is just another weakness of his. That he’s a failure. But he can’t stop.

He tries to remember all he knows about the Force and how he could transfer it to him to give him energy. He tries to come up with anything, it’s the focus of all his meditation from then on.

It doesn’t help and one night, the irritation gets so much worse that he has to leave the tent in the middle of the night so he can scream in frustration outside. He kicks the sand and yells at the moons for being unfair.

It wakes the other man up anyway but he doesn’t leave the tent. He doesn’t even turn around. Kylo wonders if Hux has any idea why he just had the tantrum.

They don’t talk that night.

Hux manages to go on for three more days which is probably more than any normal could. Kylo would like to say that it came out of sudden but that would be a lie. He could feel Hux’s body giving the last energy and then falling under the sunlight, his stomach empty, he is hardly even sweating anymore.

He kneels there in the sand, his butt on his feet as he collapses. His breathing is heavy and labored. He is dying.

Kylo stops in his tracks and looks at the other man. Hux shakes his head and Kylo doesn’t know what he means; if for Kylo to give him the moment or for Kylo to know that he is done. The Knight hopes it’s the former.

He waits for several minutes but Hux is not saying anything, he’s just kneeling there with desperate, scared expression on his face.

“Just...” he chokes out, his voice not quite working from the thirst. “Give me... a few minutes.”

It’s a lie and they both know it. Hux won’t be able to stand up again.

Kylo feels his mind going crazy, his heart beating loudly in his ears. He reaches to Force for anything, any last hope that could come. He would give Hux the last blow of mercy but he doesn’t want to.

And then he feels it, like one of the miracles his mother told him about. He feels the moisture inside the ground, many meters under them. Now, his heart is pounding with excitement and hope.

He quickly takes his gloves off and kneels in front of Hux. The other man watches him curiously. His cheeks are red from sunburn that shows his freckles, his lips are cracked and his eyes look almost blank but there is last, dying spark of curiosity in them.

Kylo closes his eyes and focuses on the Force and on the moisture in the ground, it’s like picking up tiny drops of it and then pulling them up but it’s not as energy-demanding as he thought it would.

He puts his hands on the ground and cups the water that he summoned from the ground.

Kylo rises to his feet, the water in the palms of his hands. Hux is still kneeling on the ground, watching him with eyes blurred with thirst and wide with shock. He gulps at the sight of what Kylo is holding, and Kylo... he is high and his heart is beating fast but it has little to do with using the Force. With Hux looking at him like that, with pleading eyes, submissive posture on his knees on Kylo’s feet, he feels powerful. It has been long since he felt like this and it’s as addicting as it used to be.

He wants Hux to kneel there in the sand on his mercy forever, taking what Kylo has to give him.

Hux doesn’t say anything and Kylo takes one last look, wants to remember this for the rest of his life. Then, he moves his hands towards Hux. And the general... the general doesn’t moves his own hands, he just takes the water from Kylo’s hands, greedy and desperate. His lips touch Kylo’s bare fingers. He is burned and he can’t stop watching Hux taking the gulps of the first water in days, and Kylo is the one who’s giving him this.

When Hux drank everything he could from Kylo’s hands he opens his eyes again. They look greener than usual in this light, no longer blank and dead and the contrast is absolute.

Still drunk on power, Kylo commands: “Lick the rest,” and his voice is more confident than he feels to be.

It’s a gamble and he knows Hux would never do anything so humiliating.

Maybe it’s the thirst, maybe it’s because neither of them really has anything to lose. Hux licks the last drops of water from Kylo’s fingers. His lips are strangely soft despite being cracked, and his tongue is warm and pliable.

And Kylo feels omnipotent; he can do anything in that moment. Hux looks up and there is a strange mixture of emotions. Humiliation which Kylo could know from a distance, knowing the feeling Hux was feeling very well, sometimes even being the one who humiliated him but mostly, there is gratitude - open and vulnerable gratitude, and a hint of something else.

Kylo’s breathing heavies with excitement and strange arousal.

He gulps and kneels down again to cup his hands and bring up more water. There is not much left but it’s still enough for it to fill his hands.

Hux is watching it with fascination and hope and drinks it gratefully, still kneeling and not touching Kylo with his hands which only makes the Knight feel powerful. As if Kylo is god-sent and Hux is scared that he will disappear if he touches him with anything else than his mouth.

Hux licks his finger again, now without Kylo having to ask, and Kylo watches with fascination. Hux’s lips are the nice shade of pink and Kylo has to resist the urge to move his thumb across them.

“I can’t get more from around here,” Kylo says instead. There is close to nothing left in the moisture of the ground under them.

Hux only nods and then strenuously climbs back on his feet. He still looks horrible but less like a corpse walking now.

Their journey was always mostly quiet except for few biting remarks but now, the silence kind of... hangs there. It’s filled with tension and expectation for something that neither of them really knows what it is.

The night, Kylo decides to put up a tent a bit sooner than usually and when he tries to come up with a logic reason for it in his mind, he finds none. He just wants Hux to sleep so the tense silence would be gone, replaced with light comfort of the company in the night.

But Hux doesn’t fall asleep.

Kylo can hear his mind but he doesn’t invade it this time, too nervous about what he might find inside there.

The problem is, even the meditation for him to feed on the Force is hard. He can’t do it, his mind still going back to the general sleeping in the tent and the way his tongue felt on his skin, about his pink lips and how beautiful his submissive position was, like in silent offering to Kylo.

Hux moves behind him, not even bothering to make it sound as if in sleep, but it’s restless. He just rolls around, so his back are turned towards Kylo. Unlike Hux, the Knight pretends he is in deep meditation state.

Hux gulps and then-

“Thank you.”

It’s soft sound, vulnerable. It’s like a confession, forbidden and to be spoken only in the darkness of the night, in the tent where there is nobody else in the whole desert but the two of them. It’s a secret.

Kylo feels his heartbeat fasten. He doesn’t know what to do. It feels like years since someone has thanked him for anything.

He stays quiet, knowing that Hux most likely knows he is not meditating. He can hear Hux’s breathing, it sounds calm but he can feel Hux’s mind buzzing with so many thoughts behind the walls that he has built around his mind that Kylo is too scared to see for what these thoughts could be.

Kylo feels Hux shiver again from the coldness and through the damn crack in Hux’s wall. From there, he feels the same loneliness that took roots in Kylo’s guts, the one he can’t get rid off.

Kylo would like to say that his body moves on his own but that would be a lie. He knows exactly what he’s doing when he leaves the meditation position and turns around to face Hux.

He’s curled up with his knees almost on his chest to keep himself warm and the blanket is wrapped around him. He looks small and exposed.

When Hux realizes that Kylo is watching him, his body tenses but he doesn’t turn around. Kylo realizes perhaps he is not the only one scared.

Kylo takes in sharp, nervous breath and then he moves closer to Hux, he takes the edge of the blanket and pulls it up so he can slide under it behind the redhead.

The other man’s body tenses up even more when Kylo presses his chest against Hux’s back. Kylo feels awkward but at the same time this is something he wants. He feels less alone there.

But he realizes this might have not been a good idea because Hux is still tense, and somehow scared, and he thinks about voicing his concerns but as he is trying to come up with a way to say it without sounding pathetic, he feels Hux’s back press against him, just slightly but enough for Kylo to become braver.

He presses even closer and slips his hand over Hux’s chest. He can feel the soft skin and the ribs but the gesture is comforting. He didn’t know just how much he was touch-starved until this moment. He presses his nose into Hux’s hair and breathes in.

Finally, the redhead’s body relaxes in Kylo’s embrace, and he moves his arm over the Knight’s and wraps their fingers together.

For the first time, neither of them shivers from cold during the night.


	3. Of Breaking

It’s the first night Hux actually has a sleep without nightmares without Kylo having to be the one to dispose of them. It’s also the first night Kylo actually sleeps and not meditates which is surprisingly sweet and in the morning he feels more rested than he had since they had landed in this damned place.

Kylo was always the first one to stop with the meditation several minutes before Hux would wake up. Today, he wakes up before the other man. He feels nicely warm and feels brush of hot air against his neck.

When he opens his eyes, he realizes it’s not air but Hux’s breath. During the night, they had to change the position because now, Hux’s chest is against his own, nicely hot and despite Hux getting thinner and thinner, he is also strangely soft. Hux’s head is on Kylo’s arm and his own arms are wrapped around Kylo’s chest. In fact, he is clinging on him like a leech. His head is in the crook of Kylo’s neck as if it was made to be there, perfect fit.

Kylo gulps when he realizes he doesn’t want to let go. He is still confused why that is. It isn’t like he likes the other man anyway.

Kylo frowns when he realizes that the last statement might not be true. Yes, he still found Hux irritating but without Snoke to taunt them against each other, their fight got less frequent. And Kylo has always wondered how it would feel to touch Hux’s pink lips, how it would feel to mess with his hair, how it would feel under his fingers.

How it would feel to fuck him.

Snoke always found these thoughts amusing, telling Kylo that when they were done with the Resistance, he would give him the general. At that time, it filled Kylo with desire and pride, thinking about just taking and breaking the man the day he would finally have the opportunity.

Now, it only leaves behind a feeling of cold shame in his guts for thinking that, it makes him sick. And Kylo knows it shouldn’t. He shouldn’t care about Hux consent or not, the only thing he should care about is his desire because desire belongs to the dark side, it’s what makes him strong.

Hux lets out a breath in his sleep and Kylo realizes now is the best time to get out of the tent before Hux wakes up to feel Kylo’s shamefully hard dick pressing against his abdomen.

He tries to wiggle out of the embrace as gently as he can, not wanting to wake the other man up.

Kylo’s attempt fails as he feels Hux’s mind waking up. His body is still relaxed but soon enough he can feel Hux open his eyes, the eyelashes moving on the soft skin on Kylo’s neck, soft and almost ticklish.

The buzzing of Hux’s mind is back, it’s soft and still half sleepy but he knows where he is and what has happened last night. Kylo takes just a small peek inside. Knowing that Hux is as confused about his feelings as he is is comforting.

Then, Hux’s body jerks as if he only now realized what he was doing, and he pulls away the arm he has wrapped around Kylo’s chest and pushes him away. It’s only light push but it makes Kylo frown again.

When he looks Hux in the eyes, he see humiliation and disgust.

It irritates and angers Kylo because he knows that the man wanted it last night, clung on him as if Kylo was the rope that kept him above the surface of bottomless sea.

Hux turns his back towards Kylo again and starts to put on his boots. Kylo scoffs in irritation, making sure the other man can hear him.

He also puts on his shoes, then grabs his coat and cape and stops. He watches the piece of clothing and thinks whether or not he should give it to Hux. He is very close to having a heatstroke and while Kylo thinks he could be able to use Force to make the condition better, he doesn’t want to use it. Not only would that attract Rey but he also doesn’t know if the Resistance will follow them. He will need energy to defeat them.

Kylo leaves the cape on the ground of the tent before he goes outside, as he is climbing he notices that while Hux’s cheek are the usual red from the sunburn, they are a shade deeper than they should be.

When Kylo realizes that Hux is flushing over clinging to him last night, he snickers. Hux notices the expression and turns even more red.

“What are you grinning about?” he growls. “You look like a maniac.”

Kylo ignores that and steps outside the tent. Hux follows him shortly afterwards. There’s irritated expression on his face and offers him his cape and coat, as if by touching it he could catch some dangerous disease.

“I think you forgot this inside,” he tells him and pushes the clothing on Kylo’s chest, leaving the other man no choice but to take it.

Kylo is angry as well, a frown grows between his eyebrows.

If Hux wants to be stubborn, so be it. Kylo dresses into his coat and pulls the cape up again while the redhead is working on packing up the tent. This time, Kylo lets Hux drag the bag.

The general looks offended by it but he doesn’t complain and takes the bag. In fact, he doesn’t even ask for water again. He continues being stubborn and Kylo gets more and more irritated.

It’s in the middle of the night when Kylo finds the irritation from Hux’s thirsty throat unbearable and he stops in his tracks.

“What’s the matter?” Hux asks, pretending to be angry but Kylo knows his limbs hurt and he is tired and hungry and thirsty. Kylo knows that Hux tries to hide a lot of emotions behind the face of anger.

Kylo steps closer to him, too irritated to care, and hisses: “Kneel!”

Hux’s eyes widen, and Kylo feels his heart pound faster. There’s fear, the same fear Kylo could feel rooted strongly deep inside Hux’s mind few days ago when he wandered too far, the fear which seeds were there placed by Hux’s father.

But there is also something else, the same feeling Hux had yesterday when Kylo gave him the water. He couldn’t identify it then but now he recognizes it clearly. Arousal, the same one Kylo has felt.

Kylo’s breathing heavies the same way it did yesterday when Hux submitted to him.

“Why?” Hux retorts, his nose twitching, and Kylo wants to kiss him and punish him at the same time.

“I’ll give you water,” Kylo explains plainly, staring the other man in his eyes.

The Knight expects Hux to fight with him, to argue, to his surprise, Hux lowers his look in the same way wolves do to accept other one’s dominance and then kneels. He still feels humiliated but he is also aroused and thirsty and Kylo can feel the confusion inside Hux’s head.

Hux kneels down in front of Kylo, just as he was told. This time, he is not as driver by the thirst as he was yesterday and his movements are careful as if he expects Kylo to lash out on him any moment. Kylo doesn’t; he makes sure his movements are slow and predictable and he tries not to stare too much because he knows Hux feels exposed, even if it’s just the two of them.

But after Hux drinks, there is just the same gratitude in his eyes, his lips are still the nice shade of pink, and his tongue is still soft and warm. There is hesitation in his eyes and he is trembling as he licks Kylo’s fingers without the man having to tell him so.

“Good,” Kylo praises him softly, the word escaping his lips, but he stops himself from saying ‘good boy.’

Hux shivers and gulps, the praise sends a wave of endorphin through Hux’s body. Snoke always said Hux was so easily manipulated with praise. Kylo remembers how Snoke sneered when the general was out of the room, telling Kylo how just few minutes ago he humiliated him in front of the whole crew, choking him for his failures and then, just seconds later, he bathed in Snoke’s praise.

 _ _Broken thing__ , Snoke called him.

The memory fills Kylo with strange, unreasonable fury. It’s not something he has not told himself before either, that Hux is broken, not worthy of his time. Pathetic human who is about as Force sensitive as an animal.

Yet, here he is, remembering killing Snoke and the rush of adrenalin then, and then the joy, and he finds it even more joyful now.

His heartbeat is fast and he feels like risking again, and he lets his hand wander to Hux’s hair. Despite the fact that neither of them washed in several days, they are still soft. Hux watches him warily, his every move, and Kylo senses the conflict in the redhead. It’s funny really, how different they are from one another, yet the same conflict rages between both of them.

The Knight feels the desire and strange relief inside Hux but he also feels humiliation and self-loathing for wanting these things. Kylo mingles his fingers in Hux’s hair for a while, watching the mixture of bliss and confusion on Hux’s face with fascination. Hux may not be broken but Kylo wants to break him into pieces and then put him back together until the man is spent.

He takes a step closer without really thinking about it and he immediately regrets it because Hux’s confusion transforms into anger, and the spell of the moment is gone. He’s on his feet in a second and pushes Kylo away, he looks like a cornered animal.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hux hisses and takes a step back to keep distance between them.

Kylo is baffled, he doesn’t know how to approach Hux so the man doesn’t just burst into even more angry reaction. And then, he realizes, he doesn’t have to care about that.

“You want it,” Kylo says, staring into Hux’s pale, his look is determinated but he also tries to be open. “Whether you like it or not.”

 _ _And so do I__ , goes untold between them but both of them can feel it hang in the air between them.

Just as Kylo expects, he frowns deeply and gives the Knight a dark look. He growls through clenched teeth: “I told you to stay out of my head.”

Kylo takes few quick steps closer to Hux again, making him flinch in childish fear and then be even more angry, more at himself than on Kylo.

His voice is dark and deep with something that’s not hate when he whispers:  “I don’t need to look into your thoughts to see something that lays before me so plainly.”

Hux flinches again but this time it’s not from fear, so Kylo continues. „If you ever feel like you can win over your fear, come to me.”

Before Hux can give a quick and rash answer, Kylo turns around and continues in his journey.

It takes Hux several seconds to follow him through the desert again.

* * *

 

Kylo can feel them getting closer and closer to the city. Then, he knows it won’t be a problem to get them a place to stay and hopefully take a shower and shave. He feels funny with the stupid beard on his face, not to mention how his clothes stink and so do Hux’s.

But even though Kylo managed to solve the problem with water for Hux, the other man is still hungry. On the third day after Kylo gave water to the redhead, he feels another living creature underground. It’s small, just a bit bigger than a rat, furry, with three pairs of legs and long nose and it probably lives on the roots of the underground plants. Catching it is effortless with the Force but Kylo still feels satisfaction when he kills the animal in the evening.

“What are you doing?” Hux asks, sounding disgusted.

Kylo knows for a fact that Hux has killed, knows he has a military training, but he also knows Hux doesn’t like to get his hands dirty. He doesn’t give the redhead a reply for the question and Hux doesn’t ask again but in the evening, when they are tired after the day on feet, as Hux is building the tent, Kylo pulls out a dagger and skins it.

Hux watches him with the corner of his eye, especially his hands. Kylo feels that Hux doesn’t like the look at the blood, not really but he finds his movements brutal elegant and efficient in a sick way. He can’t stop looking, not even when Kylo removes the organs from the meat. When Kylo uses the Force to create fire to cook the meat.

The general is now watching without trying to hide, his eyes locked on the first food he sees in days. When Kylo is finished, Hux is the perfect image of himself – despite dying from hunger, his movements are slow as if he is doing Kylo a favor with taking something he has hunted down and cooked for him.

But even he can’t pretend not to mind the hunger the moment his teeth sink into the meat. It’s unflavored and Kylo doesn’t even knows i fit tastes good, but Hux enjoys every bite. He is smart enough to eat slowly though, so he doesn’t suffer from stomachache. Now, it’s Kylo who watches with fascination and if the feeling of killing the animal for Hux was satisfying, it’s nothing in comparison to what he feels now. He feels powerful again, protective and proud of what he accomplished.

For a few minutes, he feels angry again at himself for allowing these feelings. Then he realizes he acts the same way Hux does, and he frowns and thinks it’s pathetic.

He continues watching Hux eating after that not even bothering to hide his interest, and Hux either doesn’t care now that he’s eating or he‘s doing a pretty good job on ignoring him because he just continues eating. When he’s done, Kylo almost smiles when there’s nothing left but the bones.

The air between them is relaxed again but only until they both get into the tent. The small space they both have to occupy causes tension between them but they continue with their routine. Hux takes off his boots, takes the blanket and curls into a ball as far as he can get from Kylo as possible. Kylo sits down with his legs crossed and meditates, feeding on the Force.

It doesn’t take long for Hux to shiver under the thin blanket and fall into restless sleep. Kylo meditates for some time before deciding he would prefer to sleep over meditation. He tries to tell himself it has nothing to do with the other man sleeping next to him but he feels self-deluded for thinking that.

He lays next to Hux, opposite him without touching him and watches the man as he sleeps. He looks so much smaller like this, skinny ball under a thin blanket, that it’s almost funny. He knows Hux is only few years older than he is but he looks much younger like this, sleeping with his features relaxed except for the slight frown between his eyebrows, and despite his beard.

Kylo closes his eyes in the end.

* * *

 

He dreams of Hux’s body against his own, dreams of pinning him down and fuck him roughly into the ground until Hux cries in pain and in pleasure, dreams of the man falling apart under his touch and then putting him back together.

When Kylo wakes up, he is hard and his head is on Hux’s chest, and the other man’s arms are wrapped around him. He realizes that the other man is waking up as well and to Kylo’s surprise, his dream has not been entirely his own. Kylo’s leg is thrown over Hux’s waist and the redhead’s cock is also hard against his thigh.

When Kylo looks up to see Hux’s face, the man is confused as if he didn’t know where he is. Then, he comes back to his senses, looks at Kylo and his look hardens.

He pushes the other man away from him and his cheeks redden. Kylo smirks at him, making Hux even more blushed. For a brief moment, Kylo considers telling him Hux didn’t mind the Knight’s body against his yesterday but then he thinks better of it – the previous night still feels surreal, the vulnerability, the soft whisper. It’s still a secret and Kylo wants to carry this secret for as long as he can.

They don’t exchange a single word, they just get dressed up, pack up the tent and continue on their journey. They don’t talk about their bodies seeking one another in the night.

Kylo realizes something is wrong long into the day. It’s probably afternoon when he feels someone closing to their position, fast. The person is on a sand scooter and they are most definitely heading their way. He turns around to tell the good news to Hux but the man is further behind him then he usually is, his breathing is rapid and Kylo doesn’t know how he didn’t notice it until now.

He watches warily as the man stumbles towards him. There’s no sweat on his forehead for once and he looks around, then his look falls upon Kylo.

“Where is Millicent?” he asks.

Kylo isn’t caught off guard often, isn’t surprised a lot but he watches the redhead with shock in his eyes.

“What?” he asks, the question sounding stupid to his own ears.

Hux blinks at him few times as if Kylo is the one who doesn’t make sense. “Millicent, where is she?”

“Who?”

Okay, Kylo definitely needs to stop ask like this, because he honestly sounds like a fool.

Hux doesn’t reply, instead, he gulps several times, his face pales and then he bends in his waist and throws up. Well, he tries to throw up but after several days of hunger and thirst, there is not much in his stomach to give, but his body still shakes with the cramps as his body tries anyway.

Heat stroke is immediate thought that comes to Kylo. He makes his way back to Hux and then stops because he doesn’t know what to do. He knows how to heal injuries with Force but he never tried to heal an illness.

Hux is pale, his pupils are wide and he looks just confused after he stops throwing up. And the moment Kylo is within the reach, he tries to push him.

“Get away!”

“Calm down!” Kylo growls, he is surprised by the power behind the push and has to take a step back.

Later, Kylo realizes that it was not a good idea to yell at a confused man because Hux’s eyes focus on him and he punches Kylo right in the face. It surprises Kylo, so much that he doesn’t bother moving out of the way of the punch. It lands hard, for someone who’s been starving and thirsty for days, Hux surely has strong punch.

When he tries to punch Kylo again, the man avoids it easily, and the inertia sets Hux off balance and he just falls on the ground with a loud thud.

Hux still breathes heavily but he tries to sit up. Kylo brushes his mind against the redhead’s. The man is mostly in overcharged mode – too many thoughts at a time so Kylo doesn’t want to get inside, he could get lost there but he feels Hux‘ mind thinking of him the enemy and wanting to defend himself against danger that’s not really there.

“Calm down,” Kylo repeats, this time trying to sound calm. “You have a heat stroke.”

The words reach Hux’s mind but he can’t process them. The general rises to his feet, shakily and then tries to attack Kylo again. He pacifies him easily, pushes him to the ground and before he can get up again, he pins him there with his body. Another bad decision, because Hux’s mind shuts off immediately and he starts to fight Kylo off with the verve of a cornered animal.

“Hux!” Kylo growls again, without thinking which only causes the said man to fight more.

Kylo is slowly losing his patience as Hux literally kicking and punching him where he can and he can feel the sand scooter getting closer and closer. He wants to take the scooter for them. He thinks about shutting Hux’s mind completely but he doesn’t want to risk the man not waking up from the comatose.

His quandary is solved rather quickly as Hux’s body goes limp, using up whatever energy it had, for the flight-or-flight response he gave to Kylo. Now, he’s just lying there on the ground, exhausted, and his eyes are shiny almost as if he was about to cry but he doesn’t. Kylo realizes that even though Hux didn’t say anything, didn’t voice a single complain over the past few days, his body as well as his mind is on the brink of strength.

Kylo rises to his feet, watching the direction in which he knows the person is coming. Whoever they are, they are not strong with the Force and it will be easy to defeat them. Hux stays on the ground, exhausted and Kylo is almost relieved that this person is coming to them at this time. He doubts he would want to carry Hux for four more days to the city.

It’s a scavenger, young male. He has a blaster pointing at Kylo as soon as the scooter gets over the dune. The human male’s scooter is old and rusty but it will do. Kylo tries to look as harmless as he can but to be honest, with his black robes and Hux still wearing his general uniform, the man must know at least a bit who they might be. The battle above this planet was long, after all.

“Put your hands above your head!” he yells, not lowering his gun.

“Okay, okay,” Kylo almost enjoys this – the way the man thinks just because he has a gun, he will be able to defeat Kylo. It’s thrilling, to have so much power.

He lets the man get closer to him before he snatches the blaster from his hands with the Force and just throws it away. Hux has his own blaster, without doubt better than this piece of scrap. The realization of who exactly Kylo is comes to the man immediately and the expression of pure terror in this man’s eyes sends fire through Kylo’s veins. Not as much as the look on Hux kneeling before and him licking his hands, but it’s still nice.

Kylo enjoys the way his lightsaber buzz when he activates it, didn’t realize until now how much he actually missed it. The man’s begging for his life fills the Knight with power and satisfaction.

When the scavenger tries to run, Kylo just uses Force to pull him back by his ankle and lowers him on the ground. The man continues begging until Kylo pushes his lightsaber into his back and listens to him scream as if it was the most perfect symphony in the world.

When he’s done, he is breathing heavily with excitement. He turns around and looks for Hux’s body on the ground only to find out that the man is actually trying to crawl away from him. His mind is still completely offline, running on desperation and fear and nothing else. At least before, every time Kylo showed him how much powerful he was, there excitement. Now, there is nothing but fight-or-flight instinct.

Kylo doesn’t like it.

“Hux,” he says, trying to sound calm but his voice still comes out forceful.

Hux lets out a shaky breath and turns around. His hand goes to his waist and he wraps his fingers around his blaster.

“Don’t do it,” Kylo commands and starts walking towards the redhead.

Perhaps, it isn’t such a good idea to chase someone who is confused and scared for his life, but Kylo hardly has time to comfort Hux. Either way the general fires, aiming for Kylo’s head. Considering that Hux is offline, his shot is admirably precise but the Knight just as easily as he killed the man stops the blast in the air and lets it fly behind him when he’s out of the way. It lands harmlessly in the dune.

Hux tries to shoot Kylo few more times.

Kylo warns him to stop but when, unsurprisingly, the man doesn’t react, he uses the Force to put him to sleep. Hux’s body goes limp on the sand and without the buzzing of his mind, the desert feels too silent.

A strange feeling of uneasiness that Kylo can’t quite name comes over him. He gulps and walks to Hux and picks him up. He throws him over his shoulder and heads to the scooter.

It’s more complicated than he thought it would be, to secure Hux on the seat that’s clearly meant for only one passenger. There is also a net behind the back of the scooter, meant probably for the loot but there is mostly junk there, some pieces that belonged to dead ships and people who found their end in the desert.

Kylo eventually manages to keep Hux in his lap as he sits on the driver seat and starts the engine.

 

Kylo isn’t trying to silence Hux’s mind anymore but it keeps being quiet anyway. He didn’t realize how used to he grew to the sound of Hux’s mind next to his own until now and he finds himself missing the constant buzz. It doesn’t even sound as if he was sleeping because that doesn’t completely shuts the mind down. Now it’s just as if Hux was dead but Kylo knows he isn’t. He will be able to wake him up if he has to.

The desert might remind Kylo of Jakku but the city is not. Its walls are tall, climbing up to the skies, a fortress. The gate is open though and Kylo goes it. He immediately knows that the scavenger was not from this city. It reminds Kylo of an oasis, it looks rich. The buildings are tall, well-constructed and well-kept. There is fountains on almost every corner, and it just looks rich.

Kylo wonders if the inhabitants of this city got their money from war, drug deals or because there’s something valuable on this planet.

Hux would probably know.

Thinking about Hux brought him back to his current problem. He needs to find a place for them to stay.

Most of these people didn’t care about the strange duo dressed in black, coming in on rusty scooter, mostly because it’s always easier to ignore something that doesn’t quite belong but some people were staring at them. Kylo made them all forget they ever laid their eyes on them.

He couldn’t wipe out everyone’s mind but this would have to do for now.

The Knight knows that he should take Hux to one of the worse parts of the city but he tells himself that Hux needs to cool down to fight down the heat stroke, especially because it feels to be hotter here in the city than it was in the desert.

Kylo goes to the first hotel he finds. It looks like one of those expensive, luxurious hotels that Kylo remembers Han Solo would have. Hell, it even looks like it has its own landing site on the roof. The windows in the first floor are tall and done in strange, curvy style Kylo hasn’t seen before.

Kylo leaves the scooter down under the stairs. The two Bothans that are standing at the entrance grow wary of Kylo, having Hux thrown over his shoulder, as he’s approaching them.

When he is close enough, they make steps towards Kylo.

“You don’t see anything unusual,” Kylo tells them with a gentle movement of the hand. “Just two normal guests.”

The mind trick works perfectly.

Kylo does the same with everyone else in the reception room who might look at them. He convinces the receptionists that they already paid and that they ordered a room with two beds.

The receptionist is polite and worried but the mind-trick works on her. Despite the fact, she tells him that there must’ve been an error in the system as there are no available rooms with two beds available because of some festival that takes place in the city. She informs him, apologetically, that they will have to take a suit with king-size bed.

Kylo could make her change the rooms, make her give them a room with two separate beds. But he doesn’t want to.

The inside of the hotel is even more luxurious than the outside. There are red carpets and actual candles rather than lights, it makes everything look kind of majestic. The halls are decorated with strange flowers and vases.

The suite they get is spacious. There is so many pieces of furniture - wardrobes, shelves, vases and tables and of course, a big, king-sized bed. Kylo doesn’t hesitate to put Hux’s body on it. His mind is still quieter than usual, but he’s dreaming at least. It’s not full images though, just feelings, and Kylo doesn’t pry on them.

He’s sweaty, his clothes smells and there’s uncomfortable beard on his face. But that can wait.

Kylo leaves Hux there for a while to walk to one of the door. It leads to a small room that reminds Kylo of a office Leila was using and her son would always come there to hide after he’d done something to Han Solo.

Kylo gulps and shuts the door, deciding not to come here again.

He goes on the other end of the room, to another door and finally discovers the refresher. It as spacious as the rest of their suite, big with large bathtub that is almost a jacuzzi.

Kylo walks quickly towards it and fills it with cold water, not freezing but cold enough so it can cool down Hux’s body. Then, when the bath is full, he goes back to the main room and for a short second, just stares on Hux’s limp, unconscious body. He feels awkward now, it’s strange and the feeling itself is what makes him more uncomfortable than what he knows he actually has to do.

Still, he can’t help but think that perhaps he is weaker now than before. He didn’t have these feelings before and he doesn’t know if he’s not growing weaker as the feelings grow stronger. Snoke would tell him he is.

A small voice inside Kylo’s head tells him __‘But what did he know? He died so easily.’__

Kylo is still feeling a bit uneasy as he is starting to remove Hux’s clothes. The man is hot to the touch. He unzips his uniform, pulls off his shirt and then moves to the boots, and the pants.

He knows that Hux got skinnier and skinnier (so did Kylo, to be honest) but when he sees the gaps between his ribs, it brings anger. He wants to smash everything in the room but then he realizes he would only lose time like that.

Kylo doesn’t take off Hux’s underwear. He slides his hands under Hux’s knees and under his shoulders and takes him to the refresher and puts him into the bath. It’s not surprising that it doesn’t wake Hux up.

He stands there awkwardly holding the other man’s head above the water, waiting for Hux’s body to cool off. He tries not to stare at how fragile Hux actually is like this.

When he thinks that it’s been enough, he unplugs the water and dries Hux with towels. He’s surprised how good Hux’s hair actually looks when his hair is wet.

Kylo then takes him back to the main room and puts him on the bed. He doesn’t cover him with blankets, instead he takes a bottle of water and puts it to Hux’s lips. He can’t swallow by himself, of course but Kylo uses the Force to gently work Hux’s through around the water that he pours into him.

He brings ice-packs from fridge in their rooms and puts it on Hux’s body to help it to cool off. He can feel that the man is getting better.

Kylo sits in the chair next to the dinning table and watches Hux’s body. He doesn’t even bother to pretend to be meditating, he just stares at Hux and waits for him to wake up.


	4. Of Defience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for posting this so late, my work was crazy because a colleague took few days off and I had to cover for her.  
> Anyway, I should be able to post another chapter in 2 weeks ago!  
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I thank you for them! Also I added a new tag and I feel I should warn you that there is discussion of rape (not threats) and as usually, some violence.  
> Please enjoy! ♥

The feeling of coming back to the world is not pleasant for Hux. His hear hurts and he just feels tired, like he could sleep much more. There’s a nice bed under him but for the first time in days, he feels cold. His eyelids even feel heavy as he opens them to see where he actually is.

The room is dark, with only the light on the bedside table on, and Hux tries to remember what exactly happened and how did he make it here.

The last thing he remembers clearly is going to sleep and then the traveling through the desert but then it’s just blurry. He remembers intense headache and his tongue being stuck to the roof of his mouth, then just walking and then nothing.

He sighs tiredly, realizing with shame that he probably collapsed and Kylo had to carry him here. The redhead wonders, briefly, how they made it to the city or whether he was unconscious for days that Kylo had said their way to the city would take.

Hux feels even more shame when he realizes he’s only wearing his briefs. He tries to fight off the blush that rises on his cheeks.

Thinking about Kylo brings him to the man and he looks around. When he sees him, he almost snorts. The man collapsed into the chair next to the table, still wearing that sweaty, dirty black clothes. He didn’t even bother shaving.

Kylo is not watching him, though. His head is tilted down, he has arms crossed over his chest and his breathing is even. The Knight’s eyes are closed as he’s sleeping and Hux almost laughs in disbelief. He doesn’t remember ever seeing the other man so calm, even before when he was sleeping.

Hux is almost scared to move to disturb the moment but he is still thirsty and he wants to make use of the hotel room (because it can’t be anything else) as much as he can. He wants to take a bath and wants to shave.

He watches Kylo with fascination for several minutes before he can tear his gaze away. He’s trying to be quiet when he’s climbing out of the bed but the moment his movements rustle against the sheets wake Kylo up.

Hux kind of expected him to jerk and be confused but Kylo’s awaking is actually calm; he just opens his eyes and looks at Hux. They stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds that feel like an eternity. Hux feels strangely exposed, wearing only his briefs while Kylo is still fully clothed.

“I’m taking the refresher,” the redhead breaks the silence eventually, the need to wash the dirt off his skin is stronger than his discomfort.

Kylo doesn’t say anything, just watches him and when Hux goes into the wrong room that seems to be workroom and he hears Kylo snorts at him for going there.

“It’s that way,” Kylo says and points with his thumb behind himself.

“You don’t say,” Hux retorts sarcastically - now it was clear which room would be the refresher.

He goes there and almost sighs in relief at the sight of the huge bathtub. But first thing he needs to do is shave. He goes to the sink and goes through the shelf mirror. He finds laser blade and shaving cream. They are certainly not the brand he would choose but they were going to have to do.

Shaving gives him the feeling of normality he didn’t realize he craved until now. He takes his sweet time doing it and then looks at himself. Finally, he doesn’t look like a complete savage though he must say his hair need a haircut as well.

That can wait though, he plugs the tub and starts to fill it with water.

“Don’t make the bath too hot,” comes a yell from the main room, making, now naked Hux, jerk in surprise. “I don’t want to have to drag your sorry ass to the bed again.”

“Would you be so kind to fuck off?” Hux rises his voice but keeps it in check. He doesn’t want to shout.

Kylo doesn’t comment on that and Hux takes off his briefs to sink into the tub. His headache is still there but he feels like the warm bath is helping him.

He’s taking his time, mostly because now he actually has time to think about what they will do now. They achieved their temporary goal, reached the city without Hux losing his life but what were they supposed to do now?

The First Order is in ruins, defeated and destroyed. The only thing Hux ever known is gone, it’s like losing his home and it’s as if now for the first time, he realizes the consequences. It makes sense because up until now Hux was too busy thinking about not dying. Of course, he thought about it before but now, the consequences are heavy upon his shoulders.

He tries to tell himself that there are still planets and powerful people that support First Order, tries to rationalize with himself He knows he is one of the reasons the First Order failed, he was its leader after all.

Hux now more than ever is relieved that he let his father to be killed. He can imagine what he would say. __Useless, just like I told you so.__

He hides his face into the palms of his hands, trying to fight off the feeling of failure and disappointment, not only his father but himself.

Hux finds himself hoping that Kylo doesn’t actually pry into his thoughts right now. He’s trying to collect himself together as fast as he can and figure out a plan for him and Kylo to get out of here to one of the planets where people would be willing to help them.

He doesn’t like how much his plans depend on the other man but he is not a fool. He knows he needs Kylo and his stupid magic tricks.

Kylo doesn’t need Hux though and before Hux can do anything, he’s pulled to another memory of his father after one of his failures. It was the only time someone was ever better at him at studies. His father beat him so hard, he spent the next two days in the infirmary and told him not to fail him again. And Hux didn’t.

The memory is so strong that by the time it passes, Hux is breathing heavily. He looks at the door leading to the main room and notices there is a shadow under it. The redhead feels another wave of shame but also anger that’s more directed towards himself than Kylo.

When Hux calms down, Kylo’s shadow soundlessly moves on.

The water in the tub is almost cold at this point. Hux climbs out and dries himself as much as he can. He wraps the towel around his waist (because he will rather die than show Kylo he’s ashamed of his own body) and then leaves the refresher.

When he enters the main room, he finds Kylo where he left him – sitting at the large dinning table but this time, there are also many plates with fruits, vegetables and cooked meal there as well. Hux immediately realizes just how hungry he is and Kylo is chewing as slowly as possible what looks like a pancake. There’s something taunting about the way he looks at Hux but the redhead can’t quite tell what.

There is also a pile of new clothes on two of the chairs. Some of them has to be meant for Kylo as Hux can already see they would be too big on him. Yet, Kylo still hasn’t changed. He’s just eating.

Hux walks to the clothes and goes through them critically. His nose twitches, none of them are exactly his uniform but it will have to do for now. He picks black pants and dark-green shirt and some underwear. When he looks behind his shoulder, Kylo is still sitting at the table, eating and still wearing those horrible, stinky, dirty clothes.

Hux twitches his nose on the sight of him. The Knight must know what he’s on Hux’s mind because he snorts and just continues eating. Hux ignores him and walks into the workroom to dress up. Even though the clothes are not what he would usually wear, they are still soft and he can tell the material is of high quality.

There is a mirror in the corner of the workroom and Hux looks at himself and frowns. He looks too skinny, almost fragile, and the exposure to the sun for the last few days has brought up the freckles all over his face and his shoulders, not to mention how red his cheeks are now from the sunburn. He will need to get a med-gel for that or something.

When he’s done with dressing himself up, he goes back to the main room. Kylo is absent now but he can hear the water in the refresher running. Hux is almost relieved. He doesn’t particularly want to eat in front of the other man. He still remembers the intensity of the other man’s gaze when Kylo caught and killed the animal for him and Hux ate it. And the Knight watched him with such intensity it made Hux’s skin crawl but it wasn’t a bad feeling. On the contrary and if Hux was honest with himself, it scared him.

Hux sits down at the table and looks around at the food. He doesn’t know most of the fruit here, he suspects it’s from this planet. He decides to go for something he’s sure is good and loads his plate with eggs, bacon and bread.

There is also caf but Hux rather takes the kettle of tea and pours it into a mug that’s meant for him. He never tasted a tea like this but it’s good and he can’t complain.

He’s through only half of his meal when he already feels full and he hears the door to the refresher open behind his back.

Hux doesn’t turn around but he hears the man moving behind him to the chair. When the Knight walks into Hux’s field of vision, the redhead almost chokes on his food. He just doesn’t understand why while Hux looks skinny and fragile after the days of starving in desert, Kylo still looks good. Sure, he seems to have lost a pound or two, but his muscles are still strong and he still looks good, his face is freshly shaved.

Hux tries to tell himself not to think about it but his heart is racing in his chest and his hands are sweating. It only makes Hux watch Kylo even more warily because he feels like a little boy again, doing something his father would not approve of, mostly because he’s worried about Kylo reading his mind.

But when he watches the Knight, he doesn’t appear to pay him much attention. He goes to the other pile of folded clothes and, unsurprisingly, chooses similar black pants Hux chose and a black shirt. Unlike Hux, though, he takes off the towel from his waist right there and starts dressing up right there.

Hux swallows the bread hard and because Kylo is turned with his back to Hux. The redhead can’t resists and stares with completely different hunger at Kylo as the man is moving. He knows he should stop because Kylo is always curious and always prying into Hux’s mind. The powerful muscles of his back make Hux wonder what it would feel like to dig his nails into them in pleasure.

Kylo puts on the shirt and for now, Hux is relieved.

The Knight looks at him as he walks back to his place at the table and sits down. He continues to eat from his plate that’s surprisingly full of fruit and drinks his caf. The normality of the moment feels suffocating to Hux, the two of them, unlikely pair, sitting here, in a hotel room with stupid double bed, eating breakfast together.

The silence in the air between them is tense enough, though.

“So,” Hux is the first one to break it between his bites. “What do we plan to do now?”

On purpose he says ‘we’ and not ‘you.’ Not that it has helped him much when he tried to win Kylo on his side back on the Starkiller base. Back then, Kylo made it clear that he and Hux were on completely different levels.

Now, though, at least Kylo acknowledges him. He looks up from his food and stares at Hux for a several seconds, clearly thinking his answer through.

“Well, we can’t stay here,” Kylo says. “Sooner or later the Resistance will follow our escape pod if they aren’t already. Now, I’m sure you know a safe place we can go.”

Hux tries not to feel relieved upon hearing Kylo talk about himself and Hux as ‘we.’

“I believe I know several secret bases that could serve us as a safe-house till we recover,” Hux nods. “My main concern is a space ship or lack thereof. We will need one.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Kylo says dismissively. “I will visit local hangar and just choose the ship.”

“Good,” Hux nods and they stay quiet for few minutes.

Hux stops eating and thinks about what they will do. The most sensible thing to do would be leave this hotel as soon as possible and just leave the planet. It’s inconvenient as Hux still wants to stay here and enjoy the luxury while he can but he knows what needs to be done.

Thinking about luxury, he takes a look at the bed. It’s clearly meant for two people, not to mention the fact that it’s the only one.

“There’s a festival in the city.”

Hux looks at Kylo who is still chewing his fruit and speaks with his mouth half-full. “This room was the only one available.”

Hux frowns at the other man with suspicion. Kylo holds his stare seemingly unaffected.

“Who is Millicent?” Kylo asks instead, still staring at Hux with those dark brown eyes.

The question is so out of nowhere and shocking that Hux actually stares at the other man for several seconds, before he finds his voice. “I beg your pardon?”

“Millicent,” Kylo repeats. “When you were suffering the heatstroke, you asked where Millicent is.”

The memory of Hux’s cat is surprisingly devastating. He didn’t have time to think about her until now and he actually wishes he wasn’t reminded of her. He knows she was on the ship and he knows it was rational to leave without her. The destruction was so fast there wasn’t any time to go for a cat. But he still feels mournful.

“That doesn’t concern you,” Hux says coldly.

Whether Kylo pries into Hux’s or not, he doesn’t say anything. 

* * *

For the rest of the day, the two men tiptoe around each other. Hux quickly finds few datapads to keep himself busy with and reads them while Kylo meditates on one of the carpets quietly.

When it’s evening, the silence is almost comfortable. Hux is sitting in one of the chairs, staring at the datapad but not really reading anymore. His  mind is full of thoughts. He thinks about Millicent and how he will miss the stupid, annoying cat. He thinks about their journey through the desert. The moment when he thought he was going to die still fills him with strange mixture of the feelings. He thought he would not be able to stand up again. He even considered begging Kylo to end it for him.

And then, Kylo gave him the water. Hux has never believed in miracles, still doesn’t, but that moment when he drank from Kylo’s hands was as close to a miracle as something can get. The feeling of alleviation and gratitude was overwhelming and Hux didn’t want anything else then to kiss Kylo’s hands.

Instead, he licked them and his body trembled with thirst for water and something else.

Hux gulps and looks over his shoulder at Kylo. The man is still sitting with his legs crossed and his hands placed on his knees but his dark eyes are watching the general with intensity that makes Hux’s heart pound loudly in his own ears.

“I told you to stop sneaking into my head,” Hux growls but it sounds weak.

The corner of Kylo’s mouth twitches in a smirk which does not help Hux to calm down. At all.

“Your thinking is too noisy. Deafening, almost,” Kylo says, his voice deep and pouring with seduction that Hux feels too weak to resist.

They stare at each other for several seconds, green sinking into brown, before Kylo unfolds his legs and stands up to his full height. He looks intimidating, even wearing just simple shirt and pants, as he’s walking towards Hux. His movement is slow but he still looks like a predator, making Hux’s heart hammer in fear and desire.

He knows what Kylo will do when he’ll come to him yet he can’t find strength in his body to move. Soon, it’s too late anyway. Kylo is standing above him and seems to be taller than he actually is; strong and powerful.

Hux doesn’t move, still torn between desire and something else. It’s not fear, not quite, even though he finds the man intimidating but that never stopped him before to make snarky remarks, on the contrary. There was something exciting about pushing Kylo to make him snap and cruel. It was like when he was a kid, doing something that he knew would make his father angry and then feeling strange satisfaction when his father was beating him.

It’s that now, it’s just the two of them, and Hux knows it will be just like this for a long time to come. And he is scared of the unknown. He feels as if he’s standing on a cliff above the abyss and he doesn’t know what awaits for him if he jumps, doesn’t know if he should.

He feels Kylo’s hand wandering through his hair, the touch surprisingly soft for someone like Kylo. He caresses his hair and Hux gulps nervously but closes his eyes. Kylo’s hand moves from his hair to the back of Hux’s neck. The redhead knows it’s one of the most vulnerable parts of human body but he doesn’t move besides opening his eyes.

Kylo watches him with intense, brown eyes, fixated into Hux’s own, as he lets his hand wander around the neck.

It feels like too much and yet not enough.

Hux panics and slaps the Knight’s hand away. The spell of the moment is broken and Kylo looks like he was slapped in the face.

They stare at each other for a moment, both breathing heavily from previous expectation, and Hux challenges him with his stare to continue.

“You are so conflicted,” Kylo says frustratingly.

“You are the one to talk,” Hux retorts insolently and continues with poison in his voice. “You’re always chasing the ghosts of the past even though you are always saying that you let it all go and then you get defeated several times by a little girl who’s only had wielded a lightsaber for the past few months while you were trained from childhood.”

The words feel bitter in Hux’s mouth and he knows he shouldn’t speak them but there is nothing he can do to stop them even though the rational part of him wants to.

Rage flashes in Kylo’s eyes and he clenches his teeth before Hux feels invisible fingers around his throat. The grip is strong and deadly and the sick satisfaction from his childhood is back.

Kylo’s stare into Hux’s eyes is dark and cruel and he just squeezes and squeezes until the moment Hux thinks he will finally pass out. Then, the fingers disappear and he fills his lungs with the much needed air. Hux coughs, without doubt horribly red in his face.

Kylo’s hand wanders to Hux’s hair again, this time gripping it harshly and tilting his head back so hard, Hux’s neck actually hurts.

“I see what you’re doing,” the Knight’s voice is dark. “You want to be rid of the burden of choice. You want me to be one that will force you into sex, so you could tell yourself it’s all my fault. You want me to be the monster. And monster I am, alright. I could do horrible things to you, the things you desire only in the deepest parts of your mind, hidden from everyone else and often ignored even by you.

“But not like this,” Kylo releases Hux’s hair and looks at him, and Hux feels naked, exposed in a way he has never been before. “I refuse to rape you. If you want me to fuck you, you will have to ask for it.”

Kylo then turns around on his heel and leaves the suite, leaving Hux shaken in the darkness of the main room.

He just sits in the chair for several long minutes, the words Kylo has spoken so angrily still sinking into his mind. He knows Kylo is right but that doesn’t make it much easier to accept. His throat is still throbbing from the abuse and when he touches his neck, it’s still sore. The words lingers in his mind just as the bruises. He feels marked, not only with the fingerprints on his skin but also with the truth.

Hux eventually rises to his feet and walks to the bed where he slips under the blankets but he doesn’t sleep. He stares into the darkness for hours when he hears the door to the suite open again. His body tenses and he knows that Kylo knows he’s not sleeping, yet the Knight doesn’t say anything.

Hux hears him move behind him, the rustle of clothes as he’s taking off his shirt and then pants. Then, he feels the other side of the side of the bed shift underneath Kylo’s weight and for a moment, Hux thinks Kylo is doing this on purpose – sleeping in bed with him instead of meditating. Then, he asks himself so what?

It’s not like Hux minds, not really. Surely, there is the awkwardness and tension in the air, but he knows he can break it any time. He wants to do it and Kylo wants him to do it as well.

Hux feels brave in the moment and so, before the courage can leave him, he speaks into the darkness. “I want it.”

It’s as if he spoke magic words again. Like back in the tent when Hux was thanking Kylo for saving his life with giving him water. His voice is vulnerable, the words are soft, it’s yet another secret spoken only in the cover of the night.

For a long moment, Kylo doesn’t say anything but Hux knows the man heard him.

“Say it to me again tomorrow when you aren’t hiding,” Kylo says.

Hux lets out frustrated grunt. Of course Kylo wants more than a secret. He wants the bare, exposed truth. Honestly, Hux doesn’t know why he expected anything else. He hated the feeling - even though he is the one who just consented, it still feels like he held no power whatsoever. Like everything depends on what Kylo chooses and nothing on him.

Whether Kylo could hear his thoughts, he didn’t say anything. Hux eventually fell into restless sleep.


	5. Of Submitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back with a new chapter! :) I added a few more tags so you might wanna have a look at that. Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy and leave me some kudos and comments if you wanna! Thanks for reading!

Hux wakes up in the morning. He doesn’t know if it was him or Kylo who initiated it but anyway he wakes up with his head on Kylo’s shoulder and the other man arm around his waist. And even after days spent in the desert and after how choked he was yesterday, the warmth is still welcome and reassuring.

He doesn’t even bother trying to wiggle out without waking the other man – Kylo already proved to be a very light-sleeper, always waking when Hux makes whatever move.

For a short second, after Hux pulls away, Kylo doesn’t let him, sill being half-asleep and his arm clinging on the redhead. Then, he realizes what he’s doing and lets Hux go.

To Hux’s surprise, Kylo just shifts on the bed and continues sleeping. The redhead decides not to comment it even though he would prefer for the other man to get up and start working on getting them a ship. Hux himself then calls the service of the hotel for them to bring some breakfast and then goes to take a shower.

When he’s brushing the teeth later at the mirror, he can’t help but to watch the bruises around his neck with fascination and curiosity. They almost make him feel proud, of making Kylo snap like that even though Hux knows it’s not a hard thing to do. He shivers at the memory of the man towering above him and making him squirm in fear, with his fingers wrapped tight in his hair.

Kylo is still in bed as he opens the door for the room-service and lets them put the meals on the table. He sits down and this time, he eats fruit.

It takes Kylo half an hour to climb out of the bed and not look sleepy. He sits in the chair facing Hux and pours himself a mug of caf and drinks it before he eats anything.

The silence between them is still tense and awkward and they are both trying to avoid the other man’s gaze. Hux eventually takes a long drink from his cup, as if that would give him the strength and then looks up.

“I want it,” he repeats his words from previous night.

Kylo is currently in the middle of a bite, which gives Hux a false feeling of having the upper hand as the man is surprised to hear him speak. He continues to chew and then swallows hard.

“Okay,” Kylo nods his expression serious.

 

“There’s one thing though,” Hux says, trying not to sound too worried about it. “I want us to be equal.”

“We’re not equals,” Kylo voices Hux’s greatest and the corner of his lips twitches in cold amusement. “You’d be long dead if it weren’t for me and we both know it.”

And Hux indeed does. He nods to show the man that he knows this and Kylo’s expression looks half confused half angry as if he can’t understand what Hux wants, he needs to get furious.

“You want to get rid of the choice,” Kylo says, frustrated. “You wanted me to force you because you didn’t want to carry the burden of a decision. And now you say you want us to be equals.”

Hux frowns. “I certainly don’t want to blindly follow you for the rest of my life.”

Hux knows Kylo is controlling but he also knows that he likes their fight as much as Hux does and he doubts he would be happy with mindless slave.

So, Hux voices his concern. “And you’d be satisfied with me like that? If I didn’t decide anything, only listened to you at word.”

Kylo snorts. “That’s absurd. You’d never do that.”

“Then why do you think I would just let someone like you control my life?” Hux hisses, just as frustrated as the other man.

Kylo’s lips are twitching with irritation. Fortunately, he doesn’t deny that Hux is right. “But it’s still like trying to be two things at the same time. Like using the Light and the Dark side. Nobody can do that.”

“Well, I want it,” Hux doesn’t care that he sounds childish and there is a moment of silence when Kylo is trying to contain his anger.

“So,” he speaks up eventually, his voice demanding and impatient. “How do you imagine this to go?”

Hux gulps unwillingly. His throat is dry. He doesn’t want to have to voice his deepest desires, to put them into the day light in the space between Kylo and him.

“Let’s be equals in most matters,” Hux says, his voice sounding too loud to his own ears in the silence of the room. “And… not-equals in one particular matter.”

“You mean sex,” Kylo’s voice is strong but his throat moves in a way that gives away that he is as nervous about the sex, and especially intimacy, as Hux is even though he clearly accepted his deserves more easily than Hux did. It surprisingly puts the redhead at ease.

“Yes,” Hux confirms with newly found confidence.

“How?” Kylo asks stupidly and Hux feels heat in his ears from embarrassment and anger.

He doesn’t know why Kylo acts as if… as if…

The idea comes to Hux out of nowhere and it’s so absurd he almost doesn’t want to give it his voice because he knows he will sound stupid.

“Are you a virgin?”

Kylo rolls his eyes but there is also flush on his cheeks. Hux‘s always found it fascinating that one of the most powerful people in the world could be so expressive under the mask but he supposed it made sense. He was always so easy to anger.

“I’ve had sex, of course,” Kylo bites back and twitches in his seat.

“But not very often,” Hux says trying not to sound too mocking – that wouldn’t exactly help their situation.

Kylo shrugs as if he didn’t care but Hux can see the tension in his shoulders.

“Usually,” Hux’s voice sounds as if he was trying to explain something to an unreliable child. “When people are in this kind of relationship, there are some rules and limits. I don’t have any limits, you can do whatever you want but if I tell you stop, you will.”

Kylo clenches his teeth, frowns and looks at him. “But that’s not what you want! You want me to keep going when you say no.”

“Okay, one more thing besides this – stay the fuck out of my head,” Hux growls.

Kylo rolls his eyes and impatiently says: “I can promise not to look purposefully but your mind is too loud, especially when I’m meditating.”

Hux doesn’t like the answer but he can’t see any lie in Kylo’s expression. “I suppose that will do, then. Anyway, the point is that sometimes people have a sort of a stop-word that makes the other person stop the actions instead of saying now. Something completely irrelevant to the situation they are in. Usually, the stop-word is red.”

“Why red?”

Hux sighs loudly. “I don’t know why red. For whatever I care, I could say pink.”

Kylo twitches his nose again and Hux smiles lightly despite himself. It’s amusing.

“Red will do,” Kylo says and Hux nods.

There is another moment of silence but this time it’s mostly awkward than tense. If nothing, at least they got rid of the tension with the conversation.

Kylo eventually stands up and says: “I shall meditate.”

Hux doesn’t say anything so the Knight walks to his carpet next to the bed and sits down with his legs crossed, his back straight and closes his eyes.

The redhead just sits in the chair for a few minutes. Then, he also gets up and decides to go around the city for a while. He still hasn’t been outside this room. He goes through the folded pile of clothes to find something that would also cover his neck because he doesn’t want anyone too curious about what had happened to him.

He leaves the suite. In the hallway, he passes room-service they exchange greetings and Hux asks where is the exit. The lady is nice enough to tell him with broken language.

Hux leaves the hotel and heads through the streets. He doesn’t have any money on himself but he goes to what looks like a city market anyway, and remembers that Kylo said something about a festival. There’s indeed many people who look like rich, spoiled bastards. He thinks his father would love this event. Maybe he would even drag his bastard son with him and then punished him for whatever sin against etiquette.

Hux shakes his head. He doesn’t know what came to him lately that he thinks so often about his father. He hasn’t been thinking about him much since he dies but he supposes that his failure and the way Kylo treated him brought back memories.

He scowls.

There is no rational reason to think about that man. Hux decides to focus more on the planet. He didn’t hear anything about this one except that it was being torn between Resistance and First Order. When Hux realizes he sees the Resistance soldiers around, he realizes who exactly is the more powerful section in this city, now possibly even on the whole planet.

He tries to keep low, upon noticing them. The redhead is a famous man after all and there is high reward to whoever might bring the general to Leia Oregana. He doesn’t want that and decides to go back to the hotel suite and leave sneaking around the city to Kylo whose face is not known and who can also mind-trick people into forgetting him.

He regrets that he didn’t tell Kylo they would need a comm between them but at that time he was too conflicted thinking about the man fucking him.

Just when he thinks he will be able to get into the hotel unnoticed, he feels someone walking behind him. They don’t charge after him straight away and Hux tries to change the direction several times but whoever is behind him is persistent and follows him. Hux is not fool and brought his blaster, hidden in the back under his jacket but he can’t turn around and attack the person – he would lose the moment of surprise.

So, he makes a quick turn around the corner and hides there. The footsteps quicken, just slightly, the person clearly worried they will lose its prey. When they make the same turn, Hux already has the blaster in his hands and he puts the barrel to the human’s head. It’s a male, just a bit taller than Hux himself which is kind of impressive, and he’s wearing Resistance uniform.

Upon realizing Hux outplayed him, he growls. Hux is not intimidated by that. He actually smirks and tells in commanding voice: “Turn around.”

The man does and Hux quickly glances from one end of the alley to another. It’s just the two of them but Hux finds it suspicious. Why follow someone as dangerous as him alone?

One way or another, this man has to die. Hux doesn’t want to fire the blaster though. Too much noise and the last thing Hux wants to do is to attract attention.

He smashes the man’s head with the butt of his blaster. The man growls in pain and falls down but doesn’t lose consciousness. Hux is prepared to beat the man again but he notices another figure just in time to avoid a blow for his head with a baton. The man indeed had a friend.

This one is a female of a species he doesn’t recognize. Her skin is smooth and soft but she is much taller than he is. She tries to hit him again but Hux avoids the blow once more. This though confirms his suspicion that the Resistance wants him more alive than dead. It’s unsettling and scary. He avoids a third blow, trying to find a weakness in her posture which proves to be hard as he has longer reach with her longer arms and the stick, but the man he hit before recovers enough to grab his ankle and jerk it, making Hux fall to the ground.

He growls in pain that spreads through his back. Before he can recover, the man, still too dizzy to fight properly, lies on his legs and the woman is on him as well. She puts the stick on his throat a pushes, successful choking him.

There’s nothing exciting about this like it was with Kylo, just fear and fight for his bare life. He tries to hit her in the head again but his arm can’t reach. He feels as if his windpipes were torn apart, the pressure in his head is getting worse and he can hear his heart pound in his ears. He thinks that perhaps they are to bring him alive but kill if necessary.

He doesn’t want to die after what they’ve been through, especially now that he and Kylo solved their shit.

She finally notices his blaster when he points it to her face but his first shot misses as he’s losing his vision and she jerks her head away. His second shot is more luck and the blast hits her into the neck. The fire is loud, deafening and her green blood covers Hux’s face. It’s almost too hot against his skin.

The other soldier screams loudly in anger mixed with sorrow and, driven by fury climbs atop of Hux who is still trying to get the much needed air into his lungs. When Hux tries to point the blaster on him, the man grabs him by the wrist and bash it on the ground. The man is not only taller but also broader with strength in his arms that Hux lacks and the redhead feels the bone break.

He growls and the blaster slips away from his fingers.

But the man is not done with him. He punches Hux several times in the face. The punches are strong and despite the man’s anger precise. He manages to break his nose and jaw. Blood of his own and the female is mixing in Hux’s eyes, blinding him. But he manages to hit the man in the soft spot on his neck where he knows it will hurt.

The man screams in pain and gives Hux the short moment to strike back again. The redhead focuses his vision as much as he can and finds the man’s face with his good hand and with one swift movement of his thumb, he pops the attacker’s eye out.

The scream the man made before upon being hit in the throat is nothing in comparison to the sound he makes now. It’s loud and painful. He even shifts his weight from Hux’s lap, allowing the general to kick him in the throat again.

It could be deadly, it also doesn’t have to be. The only thing Hux needs to know for now is that the man stops moving long enough for Hux to grab his lost blaster and shoots him in the face. He has shot before anyway, so people probably called the guards.

He turns around to try to disappear (which would be hard when he is all covered in blood and his face looks like a mess) and he collides into another body. His first, fast thought is ‚fuck me‘ and he tries to rise his hand as quickly as possible to finish also this man off but his hand is caught in the air. By that time though, he realizes it’s only Kylo. 

It feels weird at first, to see him outside of their hotel suite without the mask and without his typical black clothes, yet here he is, and Hux feels glad for his stupid, unfair magic tricks that probably lead him here.

Kylo scans the scene in front of him. Hux, covered in blood, mostly his own, and two bodies on the ground.

He doesn’t ask any question for which Hux is grateful. He simply says: “We need to go.”

The Knight doesn’t let go of Hux’s good wrist although the grip is not tight. He leads Hux through the crowd. Nobody looks at them, not even glances at them. It’s as if they were invisible to them. Even in the hotel, they just walk past the receptionist and she only smiles at them and wishes them a good evening.

When they are back in their room, Kylo lets go of Hux’s wrist and watches him with intensity in his eyes.

Hux wants to shy away from the gaze. He feels that his nose is in a position it definitely shouldn’t be in and there’s still the blood all over him.

“What have you gotten into?” Kylo tries to hide the worry in his voice behind anger but fails.

Hux would tell him to fuck off but when he tries to open his mouth, sharp pain coming from his broken jaw stops him and he can’t hold the low whine of hurt.

Kylo’s look softens slightly. He puts him hands on Hux’s shoulders.

“Let me wash the blood and then I will see what I can do about your injuries,” he’s not asking a question and even leaves the room without waiting for any answer.

Hux wishes he could drink something because his throat feels so sore that it’s almost as if he had a sharpnel down his neck. His whole face is throbbing with pain and he still has troubles with breathing.

The redhead sits on one of the chairs at the main table but tries not to dirty anything with his black.

Kylo is soon back with a piece of wet cloth and a small bucket with more water. He pulls another chair from the table, puts it opposite Hux and sits down.

He doesn’t warn Hux that it’s going to hurt because they both know it will and it would only make Hux angrier. Kylo just takes the piece of cloth and puts it to Hux’s face.

It hurts but the coolness is also sort of nice against his hot skin. What he’s feeling is most definitely not only pain and Hux wonders, if perhaps his body and mind don’t enjoy being hurt by something Kylo does.

They probably do.

As Kylo is wiping the blood off, his big hands are trying to be gentle (and failing miserably) and occasionally, his lower lip trembles. Hux watches it all with fascination. Upon realizing that he’s probably the first one in years or maybe even whole life that Kylo ever done this to, the personal care of wounds, he feels satisfied, and content, and... Appreciated.

It’s strange, overwhelming feeling that Hux didn’t realize he wanted until now but now that he has it he doesn’t want to let go. It’s scary because he doesn’t know if he could let it go if he decided so.

Kylo probably feels the shift in his mood because he looks up to gaze into Hux’s green eyes. He doesn’t say anything but he continues wiping his face from blood as his other hand wanders and then rests on Hux’s knee. He only takes the hand away when he needs to put the cloth into the bucket and then wring the blood from it.

Kylo’s action are like a web of a spider and the poison is so sweet that Hux doesn’t ever want to leave now that he’s been caught.

Eventually, Kylo’s satisfied with his work, he leaves the cloth in the bucket and pushes it aside. He looks at Hux’s face.

The corner of his mouth twitches again and he gulps. “Your nose looks wrong.”

Hux scowls because, yea, no shit.

Kylo lets out a sound that almost sounds like a laugh, then as if realizing what he’s just done, he scowls as well.

“I need to put it in the right place before I heal it,” he says, his voice serious.

Hux just gives him a short nod. He didn’t expect anything less.

Kylo puts the palms of his hands on each side of Hux’s head and puts his thumbs on Hux’s nose. It’s the moment Hux gets worried because he doesn’t doubt that Kylo’s never done this before and Hux really doesn’t want to end up with crooked nose.

The Knight doesn’t give him any warning before he pushes his nose into the right place. It’s so painful that Hux for a brief moment forgets about his broken jaw and tries to growl in pain which only causes his face to hurt more.

It’s agonizing and blinding but he feels a brush against his hair, soft touch that takes the pain away. He decides that if there is one thing he’s not into, it’s probably broken noses and jaws.

“All back to your usual beauty,” Kylo says. It’s half a joke half a taunt.

Hux looks horrible. His nose might be back to its place but his face and neck are still covered with bruises and swelling.

“I’ll heal it,” Kylo continues and his hands are back on Hux’s face.

The touch is more intimate without the cloth that would separate their bare skin. It doesn’t look like anything else than touching really, but Hux soon feels his torn flesh mend back together and his bones being set back. It’s dull pain, more intense than the wounds themselves but Hux knew it was coming and he doesn’t let out a single sound that could prove he’s in pain.

It takes Kylo around fifteen minutes to be done with his face, his nose is back and he can finally talk again. Then, he moves to his neck and Hux grabs him by the wrist.

They stare at each other for a few seconds.

“What?” Kylo asks impatiently.

“Not the neck,” Hux says as if that could explain the redhead’s whole thinking process that even he himself is not sure of.

Kylo’s eyes spark in understanding, he looks smug. He leans closer, into Hux’s personal space, making the redhead’s skin crawl in a very nice way.

“Do you want to keep my mark on you?” Kylo asks in deep drawl.

Hux is sweating, his heart is pounding in his ears and his troubles with breathing are completely different now than before.

Kylo’s hand moves across Hux’s thigh, stroking, and the layer of Hux’s pants feels to be too thick.

“I don’t want their marks on you, though,” Kylo says, his voice possessive as well as seductive and Hux gulps. “I will heal those and then I will put my marks on you again.”

Hux nods, for once not caring that his action is too eager. “Okay,” his voice breaks at the end of the word.

Kylo seems pleased though and moves his hand back on Hux’s neck. He squeezes, lightly and not enough to choke him but it’s still hurts through the bruised skin. It hurts in a nice way though that sends a wave of excitement though his body and he holds still. He lets a moan escape his lips when he feels the nice pain of being healed. Kylo watches him with so much intensity and desire in his eyes, that it’s almost too much to bear and Hux closes his eyes, trying to focus just on the healing process but he can feel Kylo scanning him and wanting him.

“Look at me,” Kylo orders when he’s done with his neck.

Hux does. His breathing is labored as he stares into the dark of Kylo’s eyes, he feels like he’s losing himself there but instead of fear, Hux’s curious and excited about what awaits him in the depths of those eyes.

Without tearing his gaze from Hux, Kylo takes his broken wrist and squeezes. Hux whimpers in pain but doesn’t jerk away. His cock is half-hard already from the pain and Kylo squeezes even harder. Hux sobs and leans towards Kylo. Their foreheads lean against one another, and Kylo is still staring into his eyes.

“I was there, you know,” Kylo whispers and their lips almost touch, Hux can feel the Knight‘s breath against his own. “I just arrived when you popped the man’s eye out. I watched you kill him. You were so stunning.”

“Thank you,” Hux feels high from the praise, there’s warm feeling in his stomach. He always knew praise was one of his weakness, that he wanted his ego to be stroked and he was rational enough to admit it to himself that it was one of the side-effects of being raised by his father.

“Absolutely stunning,” Kylo repeats, probably knowing Hux wants this as well, and Hux isn’t even angry that the man is exploiting and encouraging through the weakness.

He stops squeezing his hand and heals it. When he’s done, Hux’s body is covered in sweat. Kylo is still watching him with intensity, his gaze switching between Hux’s own and his lips. But Hux doesn’t want to wait till Kylo will be brave enough to make the first steps, so he is the one who presses their lips together.

It’s gentle at first, almost innocent, just their lips against each other. Then, Kylo seems to take the hint. He leans more against Hux and puts his hand on the redhead’s neck. Hux can feel Kylo’s tongue on his lips as the man is demanding entrance, and the general is only happy to comply. It’s clear, though, that Kylo doesn’t have much experience with kissing. He’s clumsy and awkward but that can be easily forgiven because he’s also demanding and aggressive in a way that makes Hux moan in pleasure and expectation.

He squeezes his neck again, making it harder for Hux to breathe but not cutting his airways entirely.

Hux tries to nudge into Kylo’s tongue, not to take control but to show him how it’s done properly. Kylo seems to follow him gladly and Hux soon realizes that Kylo is actually very quick to learn.

Soon, the redhead finds himself moaning and whimpering into the kiss, loud and obscene which only encourages Kylo to be more aggressive.

Kylo’s hand on Hux’s throat tightens and as Hux gasps for the denied air, the Knight pulls him out of the chair into his lap. He wraps his free arm around Hux’s waist and he digs his fingers into the redhead’s hip, hard enough to leave bruises. Then, Kylo breaks the kiss and stares at Hux with his pupils so wide that his eyes look black.

Hux groans at the loose of contact and tries to lean back down but Kylo’s grip on his throat keeps him away.

“Look at yourself,” he taunts, his voice low. It might have sound like a whisper if he didn’t sound so dangerous. Then his voice turns mocking. “You look more like a needy slut than a general all Resistance once feared.”

This sparks up the flames of shame in Hux’s body and he clenches his teeth. He hates the humiliation with passion and desires it all the more.

“Fuck you,” he spites angrily.

Kylo’s expression is half amused, half furious.

The slap comes unexpectedly but not unwelcome. Hux’s head is spinning with the force o fit and without Kylo’s arm around his waist, he might have fell down from the other man’s lap.

Hux is breathing hard and heavy. Kylo slides his hand from the neck up to cup his cheek in a gesture that could be called loving if the Knight then didn’t move it further and grabbed Hux firmly his hair. He tilts the redhead’s head back, and once again, Hux would fall down if Kylo didn’t hold him.

“You always made me so frustrated,” he confesses through clenched teeth. “The perfect image of control. I just want to to rip your head open to see what’s inside instead of seeing just the glimpses through the crack.”

Hux doesn’t understand how he finds this arousing but he does. He gulps and his cock is now painfully hard.

Kylo does as he promised – he leans in and marks the sensitive skin on Hux’s neck. At first, he simply sucks at the skin, making it all red while Hux moans loudly in pleasure, then he almost bites him. It’s not hard enough to draw blood but the skin there still turns red. There will be a bruise tomorrow.

Kylo’s hand travels then down from Hux’s hair, without the Knight stopping nipping and sucking the redhead’s neck, down to the hem of Hux’s shirt.

Hux lets Kylo take his shirt off. He knows he is still too skinny, yet Kylo watches him with dark, violent hunger that reminds Hux of a void that swallows everything up and never lets anything go again. Kylo then kisses him again, this one much better than the first and even more possessive, he bites at Hux’s lower lip, this time drawing blood for real and sucking on the lip eagerly. Hux can’t do anything than whimper into the kiss and take it.

Hux wraps his arms around Kylo’s shoulders and digs his nails into the shirt. Kylo seems to remember that he has hands as well and starts to explore Hux’s body. His palms are everywhere on the soft skin, exploring and investigating, touching, stroking and pinching. Hux feels like a real whore, moaning obscenely but he could never stop himself when having a good sex.

Kylo then moves both his hands on Hux’s ass and squeezes teasingly.

“I want you to fuck me,” Hux whispers into the kiss, Kylo’s breath is hot against his own.

“You’re getting greedy,” Kylo bites his lips again as if in punishment and maybe it is but Hux enjoys it anyway.

It’s a surprise when Kylo stands up and Hux clings on his shoulders more not to fall down but even if he let go, Kylo’s hands on his butt cheeks would probably be enough to keep him in place. The Knight kisses him again, all teeth and bites as he’s taking Hux in the direction of the bed. Hux whimpers into the kiss approvingly because finally.

Hux is thrown on the bed roughly but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Kylo then grabs his ankle and pulls him closer again. The Knight leans over, towering over Hux’s thinner frame. The redhead is trapped under his hot body and he loves it. This kiss is more tongue than bite and Hux thinks in the back of his mind that if Kylo continues to learn how to kiss so fast, he might be in more trouble than he thought he was.

Hux tries to wrap his arms around Kylo’s shoulders but he is stopped by the other man pinning his wrists with one hand against the bed. Even without the Force, Kylo is still so much more powerful and more physically ominous. He tightens his grip on the wrists, leaving marks again and making Hux moan in pain.

“I love the sounds you make,” Kylo growls against the skin of Hux’s neck between his bites. “You sound like a whore. I want to break you.”

“Do it,” Hux whimpers desperately.

Kylo pulls away and slaps him again, making him whine loudly in pain and strange pleasure. And Kylo slaps him again and again. Hux’s cheeks are almost as red as his hair and his head feels like he’s floating.

Instead of another slap then, he feels Kylo’s palm on his face. It’s just as hot as his cheek but it manages to ground him. He realizes his breathing is hard and heavy, sweating all over his body and his cock is almost painfully hard in his pants. He needs more.

Either Kylo is sneaking around in his head again or he’s thinking too loud because in a moment, Kylo smirks and grabs Hux’s cock through his pants. The redhead can’t help but groan loudly under the touch.

“Do you think I can make you come in your pants?” Kylo asks, his voice husky. “Because I do.”

Hux whimpers. He’s never in his life been made to come in his pants. In all his previous sexual encounters, he never let go of his guarded control over himself and always also the partner. The thought of being made something so humiliating, so low, is intoxicating though.

He doesn’t need to voice it out loud though because Kylo, without releasing his wrists, starts to move the hand in harsh strokes that are boundary uncomfortable through the pants. Hux soon groans and moans, his mouth always open and begging for more and Kylo watches him with fascination, his pupils wide with desire and intention to destroy.

And Hux wants to be destroyed.

Hux moves his hips into Kylo’s. The Knight’s grip is tight but he also doesn’t stroke him much, just holds Hux’s cock to keep him from coming right away. The lack of friction is agonizing. Hux has never felt this horny and desperate for release in his whole life. His hair is mess and his moans come out as pleas but Kylo ignores him, just watches him squirm with cruel amusement and doesn’t fasten the pace.

Hux feels like it takes a whole eternity for him to come and it feels as if the orgasm is as slow and intense as Kylo’s strokes. When he comes back from the bliss of his orgasm, his hair is wet from sweat and his heart is hammering loudly in his chest. The come in his pant sis uncomfortable and he feels his ears grow red with shame from what just happened.

But when he looks up, Kylo is watching him as if he’s just watched the hottest thing in his entire life.

The Knight lets go of Hux’s wrists and leans back to take off his shirt. Even though Hux finds something about being naked while Kylo is completely dressed arousing, he’s happy to see the other man like this. He watches him with new hunger in his eyes although his cock is still soft (for now). Kylo then leans down again and grabs Hux’s the hem of his pants. He’s like an animal when he’s taking it off, almost tearing him and the fabric digs into Hux’s skin.

When Hux is naked in front of him, he proceeds to take off his own pants.

He climbs into the bed to Hux and presses his body against the redhead. He positions himself between Hux’s legs, pressing his hard cock against Hux’s. Hux wraps his arms around Kylo’s shoulders again and when they kiss, he swallows the Knight’s hungry groan.

Kylo is greedy with his kiss, conquering. He explores Hux’s mouth and in return swallows his moans. Then, he teasingly thrusts his hips against Hux and grunts in approval after Hux whimpers again. His cock is still sensitive but also half-hard already.

Then, he pulls back and kneels above Hux. Kylo takes one more look before he grasps Hux by his thigh and turns him around so he is laying on his stomach. The Knight is back on him immediately, his bare chest pressing against Hux’s back. He’s hot and heavy, and when he thrusts his hips tauntingly again, Hux groans in pleasure and anticipation. The big cock pressing against the curve of his butt is making him wild.

Hux feels Kylo’s hot breath against his ear. “I want to fuck you raw,” Kylo says darkly.

The man then hooks Hux’s neck with one of his arm. He’s not chocking Hux, not yet but his breathing is harder now. He’s fully hard now with man’s promise of abuse.

Kylo purrs on him. „You can be such a good boy when you want to,“ he whispers to him and the arm around Hux’s throat tightens. He can still slightly breathe but he feels his face redden again and when Kylo licks his earlobe, he moans like a whore.

“My good little slut,” Kylo says and then Hux feels his other hand wander down from his body to his ass.

The Knight then moves slightly to the side, and Hux can feel his cock now pressing against his thigh, just so he can, without even bothering to be gentle, shove two fingers into Hux.

It burns in a nice way but Hux can’t stop the painful whimper that escapes him anyway. Kylo only acknowledges this with an aroused groan and then bite to Hux’s neck. As the Knight is working the fingers in his ass rough and inexperienced just like the rest of him but he’s eager and demanding and every time Hux whined he repeated the thing, learning so fast that Hux soon finds himself thrusting his hips against the bed to cause friction.

“Just imagine what the other officers of First Order would say,” Kylo whispers. “The great general everyone respected so much, spread for me like a common whore.”

The words are cruel and they cut into Hux’s mind like knifes and he enjoys and hates he pain at the same time. He can feel his ears going red with humiliation. After all, there is nobody else but them.

Kylo’s three fingers are now spreading and pushing deeper and deeper into Hux, hurting him, his breath heavy and hot against Hux’s ears, and the redhead feels like he’s going to fall apart and become whole at the same time. He realizes that he’s nodding his head jerkily in agreement to what Kylo’s said and his lips form weak, needy words. “Please, master, please,” and he doesn’t even know what he’s begging for - for Kylo’s cock inside him or for him to continue with the verbal abuse.

He hears Kylo chuckle. It’s ominous and dark and sends shivers down Hux’s spine.

“Should’ve taken you long time ago,” Kylo whispers, his fingers leaving Hux’s ass. The preparation was short and quick and not nearly enough but Hus still feels empty as fuck.

Only for a moment though, because he feels Kylo shift over him. Hux is breathing heavily in anticipation when he feels the Knight take his own cock and guide it to Hux’s entrance.

“I’ve dream about this for so long,” Kylo murmurs into Hux’s hear, his lips touching the skin and making the redhead sigh in arousal. “So many times on the Finalizer, I just wanted to take you. I knew you would fight me but nothing you’d say or do would stop me.”

Hux’s moan is on verge of a scream when the tip of Kylo’s cock is pushing inside him, punishing and brutal. The Knight doesn’t stop even when Hux screams in pain, just pushes in and pushes, burning and hurting, and yet, Hux spreads his legs further to give the giant man that’s on him better access. He feels and hears Kylo’s own heavy breathing and he’s trying to fit his giant cock into the tight ring of muscles.

By the time Kylo is in, Hux’s throat actually feels too raw from all the screaming and the only thing he can do is moan softly. The cock inside him is deep and even though Kylo is not moving, the cock is so large that the tip of it still presses against Hux’s prostate.

“By stars,” Kylo sounds out of breath. “You are so tight. And here I thought you’d be loose as fuck. You should hear the thoughts of the stormtroopers. They all wanted to fuck you and I honestly thought they did. But turns out you are a slut just for me.”

Hux whimpers in reaction to Kylo’s filthy language and whines even louder in mixture of pain and pleasure when Kylo’s cock starts to move inside him. The rocking of his hips is slow for now but it still burns nicely. The push against Hux’s sweet spot makes the man scream despite his sore throat. Kylo is amused by it and thrust, hitting the spot again and again.

“You can be so obedient when you want to be,” Kylo growls through gritted teeth and then bites Hux in the shoulder.

The redhead is just laying there, trapped between the bed and Kylo’s body and taking it and whimpering like the slut Kylo had called him.

“Such a good boy you are,” Kylo grunts in pleasure.

Kylo unwraps the arm around his throat and pulls back. Hux enjoyed the weight on his back but when Kylo places one hand on the small of Hux’s back and the other one of Hux’s neck, pushing him further into the bed, placing his weight completely on Hux, almost choking him. Hux only whimpers louder when the angle now allows Kylo to go deeper, hitting Hux’s sweet spot every time he moves his hips.

“You looked so beautiful and so powerful when you killed the resistance scum,” Kylo growls, his voice husky and horny. “So powerful. I wanted to take you right there in the dark, dirty alley. I wanted to make you mine. You are mine, aren’t you?”

As he asks, he makes the thrust especially powerful, punishing and Hux sees stars. His knuckles are white now from how hard his grip on the sheets is. He’s whimpering as the pleasure rolls through his whole body.

Hux’s second orgasm is complete opposite of his first one that was slow and agonizing. This one Kylo almost rips out of his body with violent thrusts of his hips and Hux comes right onto the bed.

Kylo takes several more minutes, he’s breathing heavily above the redhead, still pushing and pressing the now spent and pliant body beneath him. When he comes inside Hux’s ass, the redhead whimpers lowly at the sensation.

Kylo then moves away from Hux’s body, letting go of his head and the small of his back. He shifts his weight on his knees again, between Hux’s still spread legs. The redhead doesn’t move, still coming down from his orgasm. Kylo doesn’t look directly into Hux’s mind but Hux distantly feels his conscious touching his mind, just a gentle nudge as if to see whether he is alright.

And Hux feels mostly alright. He’s tired and well-fucked and his bones are starting to ache from the rough treatment. He’s satisfied but he feels strangely low and cold without Kylo’s touch on him. The mixture of the emotions is uncomfortable.

Hux knows the feeling but it’s still unfamiliar. On the rare occasions (when he got drunk) and let his partners do as they pleased, he always felt like this. But he also always told them to leave and when they did, Hux just picked himself together and continued with his duties. Now though, he feels so spent he doesn’t want to move at all, let alone tell Kylo to go away.

The way he can feel the other man’s weight behind him, the mattress moving as he’s shifting his weight, is assuring and the only thing that brings Hux calm. Like the eye of the hurricane.

Kylo actually seems to know for once what’s going on and he turns Hux around so he’s laying on his back. The redhead doesn’t fight him. Kylo then lays down between Hux’s legs, pressing their chest against each and kisses him. It’s slow but still possessive. Hux kisses him back.

They kiss for several minutes before Kylo moves them around again so Hux is leaning against his side and the Knight’s arm is wrapped around his middle, and they put a blanket atop of them.

And Hux doesn’t care that the bed is getting messy from his and Kylo’s come for once because he doesn’t feel cold anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay! Sexy times! :D

**Author's Note:**

> I have some chapters written in advance so I will post the next chapter in 2 weeks, and since this was supposed to be only the prologue, the following chapters will have more words... at least 5k words each. Also, note that the tags may change in the future because I'm not nearly done with this fic. :)


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